MinghamSmith! So missed hearing more about the evil dysfunctional family of yours. Please write more often!

Ok, sure, how about another Sprog megapost?

Sprog, You Horrifying Little Shit

Part II: AwfulMod

First off, I should probably admit that a lot of these screenshots aren't recent ones. They're from during the summer, soon after I realised that children can use Desecrate's Weapons System just as well as adults and began abusing that odd little quirk of the mod like no tomorrow. I just never got round to posting them, possibly because I simply forgot, but also because of some reservations on my part due to having no idea how posting screenshots of a 5-year-old homicidal maniac killing people would go down with everyone at the time.

But since Sprog's apparently turned out to be the most popular Scumthorpe by miles, here he is going on his first murderous rampage around town:


Somehow, the first time he ever shot a 9mm pistol he took out two people with one bullet.

...Don't ask, it's Sprog. The laws of sim reality are merely guidelines to him.


Yes, that is Sprog attaining the red Emperor of Evil glow despite being in elementary school.


And yes, that is the most hilariously nonchalant response to watching two people die ever.


And no, the Dexter the Bear glitch whereby you can have toddlers and children briefly wielding claw hammers will never stop being funny.

In some ways, though, Sprog is really just a form of pest control in my town if you look at him from the player's perspective. He constantly butchers game-generated pudding townies, makes way for my own creations in the process and is generally brilliant at getting rid of annoying characters. Although sometimes the less well-designed EA premades find themselves hunted down by him as well.

Such was the fate of Ethan Bunch, gunned down in a Showtime venue toilet on a whim:


WHEN I'VE FINISHED PISSING, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO DIE

On a related note, something tells me Sprog might be developing delusions of grandeur between his frequent violent rages:


KNEEL BEFORE YOUR KING OR FACE ANNIHILATION

Thanks to that picture, I'm now seeing the autonomous "Preside Over Royal Court" interaction that came with Generations in a disturbing new light. Usually, it's clearly nothing more than a harmless children's game. When Sprog does it, though, (and he does it a lot) it's very hard for me not to interpret it as him pretending to be the emperor Caligula sentencing hordes of imaginary Romans to horrifying deaths and declaring himself a living god. Hopefully minus the weird stuff with the horse almost being made a consul, but given that I have Pets installed, who knows?

So, having seen almost the entirety of Sprog's life so far documented in this thread, you may be wondering: What's the absolute worst thing he's ever done?

Oh, that's easy. He assassinated his own mother.


Ever wonder why Kathryn Scumthorpe entirely disappeared from this thread after Larry walked in on her making out with the butler and divorced her on the spot? Well, now you know. Sprog simply got bored one day, picked up the pistol from Desecrate's Weapons System once again and decided to take a few shots at his own relatives rather than his usual prey of game-generated pudding faces and miscellaneous townies for a change. As you can see, Larry didn't exactly mind.

Sprog, of course, was anything but conflicted or remorseful:


WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, SPROG?

And then the entire Scumthorpe family suffered yet another critical empathy failure that contradicted just about everything sims are programmed to do in response to a household tragedy: Larry didn't get the Death of a Loved One moodlet. Sprog got nothing but positive moodlets from watching his mother die. Rick gave the camera a look of mild disappointment for about 3 seconds before wandering off to watch daytime TV and forget the entire thing ever happened.

And the babies?

Nothing.

Nothing at all. In a game where babies are usually considerably more able to understand the significance of deaths and divorces than they would be in reality, none of the Scumthorpe triplets got any kind of moodlet at all after Kathryn died. In fact, there is absolutely no indication that any of them even remember their mother existed.

In short, the closest thing to a normal human reaction in the entire household was from a severely depressed butler who wouldn't stop blubbering for a week.


And since then, said butler has mysteriously vanished off the face of the earth.

Gone. Without a trace.


Why, whatever could have happened to him?

--------------------------------------------

And finally, for those of you interested in this sort of thing, a preview of stuff to come. Because now Darius Scumthorpe has got married and started his own dynasty of professional supervillains, I'm moving the timeline in my town along again. The most obvious result of me doing so is that the Scumthorpe triplets have all aged up into children, which I'll demonstrate in my next post. But the time skip also brings us that much closer to a much scarier prospect on the horizon:

And what might that be?

Oh, that's perfectly simple: Teenage Sprog.


When normal teens get moody, people groan and roll their eyes.
When teenage Sprog gets moody, people scream, and someone dies...

Sprog!

That's a teenage Sprog? For some reason he look more like an adult to me....

Other than height and build (Adult Sprog is muscular and imposing, teenage Sprog is comparatively lean and wiry) he doesn't seem to change drastically between the teenage and young adult stages if CAS experiments are anything to go by. Hell, compared to a lot of sims he doesn't change as much from child to teenager either. Something about the slider settings that comprise his face causes him to be instantly recognisable between life stages, which I can only assume is a lucky accident since he was born in-game.

Was playing a new Sim, and for some reason, she likes to walk around nude and refuse to wear clothes after showering.

What's her phone number?

LMFAO. Oh, MinghamSmith, you rock nine kinds of awesome. *applause*

If you get Seasons, you realise we'll all be eagerly awaiting the first patented Scumthorpe Industries Freeze-a-Death-a-tron Chamber, or somesuch creative evil, right?

Unfortunately, that'll have to wait a bit longer than I'd like, given that I'm British and don't get Seasons until the 16th. But don't worry, I'm sure there'll be something Seasons-related in the near future unless updating everything to patch 1.42 next week causes my game to implode. If it's not something like Darius Scumthorpe horribly misusing the new weather machine and cloud launcher to screw over his dad like a second-rate Mr Freeze, it'll be a new family that's a remake of my favourite TS2 household.

What was that household, you might ask?

Professor Assprobe's Alien Baby Breeding Facility.

No further explanation required.

Anyway, new content:


Last post, I mentioned that the triplets had recently ceased to be babies. Let's see how they all turned out!

First, Carrie.


...Huh. That's a very alternative look for a first-grader.

Currently, Carrie's traits are Evil, Insane and Grumpy, most likely due to having been stuffed in the oven by Sprog on numerous occasions during the first few years of her life. She's enemies with Sprog and most of the adults in the house apart from Judas, has a neutral relationship value with her other two siblings at best and had never actually left the grounds of Stately Scum Manor at all until earlier today, with the sole exception of being ditched in a field overnight once as a toddler so Larry wouldn't have to listen to her crying.


It's therefore somewhat fitting that she's the only one of the triplets to end up with an Imaginary Friend. She named it Throatslasher, after what she'd dearly love to do to Sprog one day. "Mr Stabby" was also strongly considered as a possible name. The default name "Cuddles," however, was rejected immediately on the grounds that she probably doesn't even know what that means.


THROATSLASHER RISES


Lolita, meanwhile, is now so profoundly, ludicrously identical to the '60s TV version of Wednesday Addams it's hilarious. I mean, look at her. Even the personality fits- much like the original Wednesday Addams, Lolita Scumthorpe tends to go through life cheerfully oblivious to how utterly bizarre her family is and has basically no idea how outrageous everything they say and do looks to normal people. Her traits are Evil, Excitable and Easily Impressed, though Evil is really only there because it's a hallmark of the family. Overall, she's pretty innocent and ultimately harmless.


...Well, mostly harmless. She's still a Scumthorpe.

But wait, where's Lester got to? He was the first of the triplets to be born, and also aged up before his sisters.

Where's everyone's favourite little Tiberium-addled mutant hiding-


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH OH MY FUCKING GOD

JESUSCHRISTWHATTHEHELLISTHATTHINGKILLITWITHFIRE

...Yeah, THAT'S child Lester. By my calculations, he seems to become approximately 10 times more disturbing to look at and 50% less recognisably human every time he ages up. And no, that's not just a lighting effect. He always has that sickly grey tint to his skin, and he really is that frail and hunched-over. I guess that's what accidental exposure to toxic alien space rocks in the womb courtesy of your deranged industrialist father and his ethically-dubious mining corporation does to you. But still, my GOD.

After taking that screenshot, though, I remembered something: In TS3, the child stage is the first stage where sims can roll wishes or wants.

I glanced down at Lester's wish slots and the suggested actions coming up above them, and noticed this:


Apparently, his first ever wish was to watch his father die.

And frankly, I can't really blame him.

I friggin' love reading about the Scumthorpes. It's so entertaining, it's like the characters are in their own little worlds! I wonder how Sprog's gonna handle puberty. I mean, what're you gonna do with the attraction system making everyone go crazy over each other?

Well, considering that my game appears to run solely on Murphy's Law I'm predicting that the attraction system will almost certainly cause at least one person to fall in horribly one-sided love with teenage Sprog once he ages up from a child. Possibly several people. Which will obviously end very, very badly for them.

On the other hand, said system may also be the only thing that'll ever get Rick Scumthorpe laid. Well, unless alien probing counts. But why on earth would the aliens want Scumthorpe DNA anywhere near the genepool of their new hybrid race? :P

xD Dear lord, this made my day! Although, I'm slightly terrified as to what teenage Sprog will do to the poor idiots who fell in love with him. But, Sprog's my favorite :P

Lester is my ultra favorite. I don't even know why. But he is.

Oh gods, I burst out laughng for real when I saw child Lester.

So looking forward to how Sprog handles lifes changes and how the Triplets get into things now as children.

My sims been torturing paparazzi with alchemy potions. He just nuked one with angry bees and the one that makes people hate you. She told him that she thought they should get together and hang out some time.

I still want to know how child Sprog got the Emperor of Evil glow. Watching the whole family reminds me of watching a car crash, you just can't look away.

I think it was something to do with an earlier version of Twallan's Assassination mod, given that it primarily appeared when Sprog had recently shot people. Although that still doesn't account for it showing up around his own family members, especially since on Emperors of Evil it tends to appear when they're around non-evil sims and yet everyone in the main Scumthorpe household has the Evil trait.

...Ok, I admit, I really haven't a clue how he managed that.

Overall, the best thing to do here is probably to simply accept that Sprog has the power of madness on his side and just isn't bound by the laws of sim reality anymore. After all, even his traits let him do things that regular human beings shouldn't logically be capable of- he can inexplicably transform seeds into flame fruits and more or less survive indefinitely on them without access to a fridge due to having Pyromaniac as a hidden trait, for instance. Hell, when the curfew mod I used to use worked I once had him run away from home for three days straight and survive that way while culling the local population of pudding townies, with no ill effects at all.

Also, I just patched for Seasons. Something tells me my town is about to become even more of a trainwreck than usual.

The first picture is what the game had my Sim wear to work as an Organ Donor. I had nothing to do with it. He does not have the insane trait.

The second picture is his everyday outfit.

If they are lazy and patient aliens, maybe they just want to use the DNA to polute the human race. :P

I'll have to see if you have Larry posted anywhere. I'd like to stick him into one of my towns. I think the rest of the family might be too bizarre for me. Entertaining but bizarre. :O

My poor sim just had the WORST 48 hours I have ever seen a single sim have in one of my games. It started out at 1AM - it was raining for 24 hour straight. He went out and decided to attempt the "Hunter's Storm" howl at the weather totem so I could see what it did. It worked. And it made a freak snowstorm that dropped tons of items. The items were ok but being around 20 degrees right after summer ended would SUCK, IMO. Then all his plants went dormant so he had nothing to do all day - so he went to visit his parents who live next door. His mother from old age right in front of him. He zapped himself with a moodlet manager and that made him pass out on the floor.

So he went home to eat. His leftover food spoiled as he was eating it. He also noticed the sink was dirty - which made his plumbob bright red. He went to the bathroom and broke the toilet. Then he cleaned the sink and washed the dishes - and broke the sink. While he was fixing the sink, his son turned his imaginary friend real. She was UGLY and her personality traits were Evil, Mean Spirited and Proper. He doesn't know it yet, but that's his new foster daughter. Hooray.

After he mopped up all the water, he went out to tend to the bees. They stung him. Then aliens abducted him - and he wasn't even using a telescope!!

I have never seen a plumbob so red except when a sim burnt to death. Poor guy. I have never seen such a fantastically horrible day.

I'd left my sim to do his own thing while I was busy sorting out some stuck sims, such as it is in Bridgeport (I've really got to stop loving this damned buggy neighbourhood). Now he's usually pretty good at sorting himself out without my constant intervention, after sorting out my hood I finally noticed that he hadn't showered, eaten breakfast or even used the toilet and now he's missed his damned carpool! "Wtf are you doing?!" *clicks return to sim*

He'd decided shaking his ass in his undies to some Old Time Rock n' Roll would be far more fun than going to work today.

@Kateishness: Oh? So working is somehow more fun than staying at home to dance? Because I'd definitely choose the latter over the former if given the choice

But he— ...he was due for a promotion!

And, er, well... yes if given the choice I would happily stay at home in my undies and shake my moneymaker to 70's rock and roll.

It must have been a Monday. :D

...I just had a terrifying idea. Judas and Sprog working side by side to bring terror and chaos to their town.

Also JESUS H FUCKING CHRIST MINGHAM, THAT GODDAMN DEMON CHILD