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Top Secret Researcher
#4326 Old 3rd Apr 2021 at 5:59 AM
Horrible, and genuinely ready to give up. My dad just died from cancer, and I'm not dealing with it very well. I've already been at my lowest for the last year or so, even stopped talking to anyone because of how I've felt, and now this happens. I admit I never got along with him all that well at times, but when I found out I just broke down. He only found out about it early in the year after having problems at work. They gave him about 6 months to live, he lasted maybe 6 weeks. I never got to say a proper goodbye either. Last conversation we had was about trying to setup the TV by his bed so that he would have something to do while he rested. That was a couple days ago, and he apparently didn't want anyone to bother him after that so I never got to talk to him again. I keep trying to distract myself, even tried chatting with some family on Facebook, but nothing helps. I just had this awful feeling all day, then I got the news. 12 years ago on the same day one of my aunts died, which just made it worse because my cousin had posted about her mom when I checked Facebook.

I'm only posting this here as a way to try and distract myself, and I don't plan on sticking around. I mostly chose this site because it's just been one I've used the longest, so I guess I feel somewhat comfortable posting here. I don't want your condolences, so even if you have good intentions please keep that to yourself because it doesn't help anything. I'm not seeking anyone to try and help, or anyone to talk to because I'm not trying to put my burdens on anyone else. You all have your own issues, you don't need mine. I won't be checking for replies, so if you read this just go on about your day and focus on your own things. I'll try coping on my own, I always try and I always fail, but I'd rather fail on my own than drag anyone down with me.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4327 Old 3rd Apr 2021 at 10:45 AM
The joys of dealing with complacent small business owners.  They do things for months that continually and consistently give them bad results. Instead of doing something else or approaching the problem from a different angle which would be to their benefit both in profit and reputation, they spend all of their time blaming their customers for their problem.  The customer in this case has no control over the situation other than no longer purchasing goods from said small business, it is up to the business owner to take charge and deal with the issue.

I can't say that I'm a fan of being used as a whipping post for something that I have nothing to do with nor can I do anything about.  Said business owner in this case has been offered a handful of useful / helpful solutions, but it is easier to dig heels in and continue on with a failed business plan. I'd prefer said business owner to at least try to make things right, but its not looking good.  I can't predict the future, and I'm hoping that I'm wrong, but I see a battle a battle over a refund coming soon. It won't be me fighting that fight, it will be my bank.  I did not pay for something that will not be received...

Other than that, I've added Rose of Sharon and hibiscus to my list of things to try to propagate this year.  Rose of Sharon turns out is a species of hibiscus, but it would sound weird to say that I'm propagating hibiscus and hibiscus.  I'm just waiting for things to sprout leaves so I can do my thing.
Mad Poster
#4328 Old 5th Apr 2021 at 4:40 PM
I'm worried that my aggressive side is coming back.

When I was a teenager, I was constantly fighting with myself, people and my parents.

I had it under control in my 20s and now I am 33. I'm just getting angry, but it is obvious. The current state of entertainment is grasping at straws and I am vicious when in comes to "reality TV".

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4329 Old 6th Apr 2021 at 8:46 AM
Waiting for the queen to arrive, a Marble Queen that is.  Her travel companion is a Hoya Wayetii.





How often does a person get to say they are waiting for a queen to show up?    She'll be sitting on the top shelf where I keep the 'big' vine plants.  The sorority will now be complete.  Golden Pothos,  Philodendron Brasil, Silver Satin Pothos and the Pothos Marble Queen.

Image from random website.
Screenshots
Mad Poster
#4330 Old 6th Apr 2021 at 8:22 PM
I recently created a virgin Rum and Coke.

Took two pumps of Amoretti Jamaican Rum syrup and a can of Coca-Cola (caffeine free, regular sweetener)

Still feeling unhappy about my life right now. Someone who was dear to me and my ideals passed away last year, I have been dealing with aggressive behavior, and I have been feeling like I'm Rapunzel.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4331 Old 7th Apr 2021 at 6:20 PM
It is turning into one of those days.

Amazon is leaving packages on the sidewalk at the post office, again.  I wonder how many times I have to call them about this before it sinks in that their delivery people are not supposed to be doing that.

Chica has some unexplained weight loss going on.  Unlike in the past where she lost weight from diarrhea and all that, this time she's not sick.  She has been her usual Boston Terrier self, so she has a appointment next week to be checked out. If she does become ill or whatever in the meantime, she'll be seen before then. All of my dogs in the past have gone through what is called seasonal weight loss which is caused by getting more exercise and activity. I don't know if this is that or not.

For the past few days I couldn't understand why everything looked hazy when I looked out the livingroom windows. The problem was crud covering the windows, hence the haze effect.  The house chickens and plants thanked I, the stupid human for cleaning said filthy windows in their own special ways. Since I was at it, I decided to take down the curtains and toss them in the wash as those also had stuff on them that I have no idea where it came from.  In a perfect world, I wouldn't need them, but since I live on a busy street and don't like feeling like I live in a fish bowl, curtains it is.  My days of cleaning blinds ended last year.

Such a fun-filled day...not really.
Mad Poster
#4332 Old 10th Apr 2021 at 6:27 AM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 10th Apr 2021 at 6:41 AM.
You know that whole...

Cat not allowed on couch... allowed on couch, just not work surface... allowed everywhere, as long as it doesn't wake me for breakfast in wee hours...

Cat gets breakfast in wee hours?

It happened after 6 cats. I was normal after 3 cats.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
#4333 Old 10th Apr 2021 at 8:46 PM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 11th Apr 2021 at 2:35 AM.
Weirdest thing I did today was make soup at 3:00AM. It was in a packet, dry "Just add water" and "Cook for 10 minutes".

If I'm feeding the cat, I'm hungry, I might as well feed myself.

Cried 3 times over a loss.

Phone charged in reverse.

My AI is ignoring me.

I don't want my mother's black out hands that render any electronic components unusable. Like Adam Savage said it's blue smoke that is a sure sign of component death.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4334 Old 11th Apr 2021 at 12:55 PM
I'm about to spend money on new humidifiers which isn't making me happy.  The ones I have work, but because of the way they are designed, it makes cleaning them a miserable experience. This doesn't take into account the parts that cannot be cleaned as there is no way of doing so.  The slime and gunk the inside of humidifiers collect over the course of a few weeks cannot simply be soaked away, they need to be scrubbed down and washed.

I could put this off until fall as humidifier season is going away, but I'm going to have to spent money either way, so I may as well just get it done and over with.

Other than that, things are quiet, for the moment.  I'm a tad anxious about Chica's upcoming vets appointment, and I have yet to hear back from the tree company.  They come out, gave me a estimate, I gave them a deposit, but now it is going to be waiting game as to when the problematic oak tree will be taken down.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4335 Old 12th Apr 2021 at 4:48 PM Last edited by Gargoyle Cat : 13th Apr 2021 at 1:28 AM.
Stressed out.

Chica has her appointment today and we have a nest of baby bunnies in the middle of the yard.  We uncovered the nest by accident over the weekend as we finally decided to clear the gardens of their leaves and stuff that gathered over the winter.

There are 4 babies; their eyes are not open yet.  We have two adult rabbits that come out at dusk, but I don't know if either one is the mother to these babies or not, so I've been on the phone being given a crash course on wild rabbits and their nests.  I've learned that adult wild rabbits only feed their babies between dusk and dawn.  They do this because adult rabbits have a scent ( babies bunnies do not) so as a means of keeping predators away from the nest, they don't feed their babies during the day when hawks and other critters are around.

In order to know whether the babies are being fed or not, there is a thing called a 'string test'.  String is cut up and made into a tic-tac-toe pattern, then placed over the nest. If the babies are being fed, the string will be all messed come daylight because the mother has been there.  If it isn't, then the babies need to be taken to a wildlife rehab center or to a licensed wildlife rehab person so they can be taken care of and released when they are old enough.  The babies should not go any longer than 24 hours without being fed.

I can't tell if the babies are being fed or not, although when checking on them they do try to move away from me, so the chances are good that they are being fed and checked on by their mother.  However, because I am who I am, I'm doing the string test tonight to see what happens. I already have a person lined up that can take the sweet little babies in if necessary.

There are plenty of protected areas around our property these rabbits could have built a nest; instead they choose the middle of the hosta garden. I'm almost nervous to see what kinds of nests are hidden in the English Ivy that needs to come out. I think I'm going to put that project off for a bit; give any possible critters that are living there time to grow up and move out.

EDIT: One stress out of the way; Chica is fine. Her weight loss is seasonal, so we'll up her calories and keep tabs on her weight.   I won't know about the baby bunny situation until tomorrow morning.
Scholar
#4336 Old 12th Apr 2021 at 8:29 PM
Hurrah! We has onions! And beetroot too, I think. I was beginning to think nothing would grow in my new vegetable plot but radishes. I've plenty of radishes. But I think I planted carrots too. C'mon carrots!

Simblr: Elyndaworld *** Wordpress: Tales of Nantrelor
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4337 Old 13th Apr 2021 at 11:37 AM
It sucks being right sometimes.

I checked on the baby bunnies to see if the strings I left yesterday were messed up, they were not.  The babies are fine. They don't have any signs of physical harm, there were no pests or bugs in their nest, ect... but they need help.  They are currently in a small box with a towel sitting on my kitchen table. I'll call the wildlife rehab person in couple of hours.

I don't know why this situation has stressed me out as much as it has, but I'll be glad when it's over.  This isn't the first time we've engaged in wildlife rescue and I'm glad we found them as I can't say with any amount of certainty when the last time these babies were actually fed. It hasn't been that long as they do still have weight to them....blah.
Mad Poster
#4338 Old 14th Apr 2021 at 1:06 AM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 14th Apr 2021 at 2:02 AM.
Been dealing with some emotional issues

Aggression, paranoia and a loss of what remained of my already low self-esteem

Long story short, I have to consider some life choices.

Tomorrow, I have to go to the bank to deposit some money after I got slammed with an overdraft.

Although I did get groceries. I found myself listening to Sia's "Chandelier" while buying groceries at our local ShopRite. But I was pretty loud trying to flag down an employee to get some pearled couscous and check in with my father.

Granted, I should have removed the headphones prior to getting my father's attention. There was this loud "Oi!" coming from the fridge\freezer department.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4339 Old 15th Apr 2021 at 8:27 PM
I've been doing plant-related things most of the day; I'm not complaining.

The Lipstick plant wanted water, so I watered it. A hour or so later I remembered that this was one of the plants I wanted new soil for as the soil it came with is terrible.  My thoughts on the old soil were spot on as before I emptied the pot to swap the soil, I gave it [the pot] a squeeze ( the plant is in a growers pot) over the sink and water came out like I was wringing the water out of a sponge.  The plant isn't showing any signs of stress from root rot, but they are not as beefy as they should be either.  Even plants that like to be kept moist do not like soggy 'feet'.  The only kinds of plants that like soggy feet are bog plants and I'm not bringing those into my house.

Then there is the Peace Lily. It has been spitting out new growth since I gave it new soil last year and stuck it under a grow light.  All is well, but it is still going through bouts of being droopy. When I check it with the moisture meter, that tells me that it doesn't need water.  Plants do not dry out evenly, but if the top layer of soil is dry and the roots are constantly soggy and wet, the plant is going to decline from the soggy feet problem as mentioned above before it gets stressed from 1-2 inches of dry top soil. 

All that to say, I finally 'fixed' this problem.  I mixed up a big batch of Aroid soil mix, gave the roots a look over, then repotted it.  It is in a 1 gallon pot with room to grow into for at least another year, so I just replanted in the 1 gallon grower pot.  The Peace Lily is now sitting in the tub, draining from being watered. She also got a shower, so her leaves are drip drying so I don't end up with a water trail when I put her back.

Speaking of roots, soil, and plant stress, the Monstera deliciosa is doing much better since getting that out of mushy soil.  Before changing that soil, I was dealing with dying leaves on what felt like a daily basis.  That has slowed to a sloths pace. I clipped one dying leaf last week, and I have one more that is on its way out. These were probably already in the process of dying, but it is just showing up now.  I counted I think it was two new leaves last week and now it has 7.  The two from last week are starting to unfurl, the others are in the process of popping or need a few more days before they start to unfurl.  It is interesting watching plants grow literally before your eyes, if you're into that kind of thing of course.  I like playing "Spot the new leaves" game; I do it daily when it is time to turn plant lights on.  It makes my day and is certainly better than reading the news first thing.
Scholar
#4340 Old 16th Apr 2021 at 10:35 PM
I ate half a package of a "brookie" which is like 3 portions which exceeds the daily calorie intake. Oops. I deserved it cos like I interviewed a bunch of people on thursday and then even made a start on the transcript. Also I had back to back class all day (even if it was that one super easy one which is mostly discussion) so by the end of that the bownie choc chip cookie combo was well earned
Mad Poster
#4341 Old 17th Apr 2021 at 4:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noa1500
I ate half a package of a "brookie" which is like 3 portions which exceeds the daily calorie intake. Oops. I deserved it cos like I interviewed a bunch of people on thursday and then even made a start on the transcript. Also I had back to back class all day (even if it was that one super easy one which is mostly discussion) so by the end of that the bownie choc chip cookie combo was well earned


My uncle Ernie, was one of the early inventors of the brookie recipe. There are probably a number of others, but he got his published in a cookbook.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4342 Old 18th Apr 2021 at 12:27 PM
No rest for the wicked.  This past week has been FUBAR. The only good things that came from it was the baby bunny story and my dog is okay.

There was the argument with Amazon. That was settled, but then I discovered they charged me full price for a used humidifier.

I was screwed not once, but twice from two different plant Etsy shops. I will never purchase from Etsy again.  I'm done with these backyard plant people and will stick with licensed sellers that own their own nursery. Speaking of which, I found a Silvery Ann at said website and ordered one.  I will not be sent a Silver Satin with stems that are not rooted and a wet stick as a bonus.  It will be a Silvery Ann that is well rooted and has had to time to mature in a greenhouse, in Florida.

Then there was the doctor thing. My doctor gave me a laundry list of things "I should be tested for". The issue is all the things that he wants me to spend lots of money on all revolve around drug use and other risky behaviors.  I don't do drugs and or engage in said risky behaviors, so there is no need for me to tested for said things. Then we got into a a debate about a tetanus shot.  I was supposed to have one a couple of years ago, but I declined it as said vaccine had a whooping cough component in it which I wasn't willing to pay out of pocket for.  When asked why I wasn't offered just a tetanus shot, I was told that those are cheaper. So in other words, he's just looking for kickbacks; none of this has anything to do with my actual well being.  The rest of the conversation was more of the same.

I mentioned I wanted something to put the hose in outside.  This has been driving me nuts for the past few years but has always fallen off the radar for one reason or another.  That was turned into a big thing yesterday when all it would have taken is somebody asking me what I wanted to put the hose in.  At that point said thing could have been picked up and or ordered.  In the end, the hose in the front yard does now finally have a home instead of being left sprawled out everywhere, but it took a few hours to get to that point.

Mortgage company sent my statement for next month. It has the wrong amount on it because they keep changing the date of when they print their statements. Along with the statement with the wrong amount, there is also a confirmation letter of the payment I made this month which cancels the whole wrong amount thing on my statement.

I sent The Boy out after he got home from work to collect and properly dispose of the banana peel that he decided to decorate a oak tree sapling with. Prior to that, he blamed me for his shitty spending habits. When I started rambling off the list of things he spends money on, the conversation shifted. This is still a work in progress.

CVS has been filling the albuterol for my nebulizer with my new insurance company for over a year now. You'd think they'd figure out that for 'maintenance meds' scripts need to be filled for 90 days, nope! They had to be told, again.  We've been through this same situation 3 times. I wonder how many more times I need to them this before it sticks.

I'm sure there is more, but that's enough.  I'm not dealing with any bullshit today. If there is a emergency or my mother calls just to chat, those are okay, anything beyond that, people can talk to the paw.

Mad Poster
#4343 Old 22nd Apr 2021 at 1:52 AM
They found several cavities at the dentist...Looks like it's back to the OR for me.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Scholar
#4344 Old 23rd Apr 2021 at 12:06 AM
I'm feeling a little peeved because it won't rain. How typically FMLish that my first year of serious gardening is marked by a drought! The ground is parched, nothing is growing, and I have no outdoor tap I can attach a hose pipe to, so I'm having to work overtime with a watering can. My second best watering can. Because somebody sneaked in while my back was turned the other day and swiped my favourite one. Asshole!

Anyway, whatever happened to April showers? Just a little rain, that's all I want! I'm not asking for a deluge. Another time, if I was doing anything where sunny weather would be advantageous, it would be pissing down, as we say in these parts.

Today I took it out on the last of the old tree stumps, the remains of an ash tree my mother had cut down a few years back, because she was afraid it would fall on the house. It is huge, and defeated all our efforts to remove it last year. It'll take a while, but I'll have it out of there, I swear!

Simblr: Elyndaworld *** Wordpress: Tales of Nantrelor
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4345 Old 23rd Apr 2021 at 5:32 PM
I finally heard back from the seller that sold me the Cast Iron plant. I got what I expected, nothing.  I didn't ask for a refund or anything, I just wanted a explanation of what was going on with the plant I was sold.  I was told that the plants love deep shade, older leaves turn yellow, let them dry out between waterings, blah, blah, blah.  I'm not going to bother to respond. Maybe I'll send a picture when the plant fills out with new growth.

The Silvery Ann I ordered should be next week, then some time after that the Pink Syngonium or Arrowhead Vine 'Coral' should be in.  After that the only way I'm getting more plants in the house I set up another thing of shelves or add more lights; I have zero interest in doing either one of those.  The Pink Syngonium and Silvery Ann have their spots picked out in my bedroom.  The Pictus Exotica and small Silver Satin are happy sitting on the kitchen counter. Both of them are spitting out new growth; I'm not fix something that isn't broken.

I've been watching too many YT channels lately where people like to brag about their 400-plus plant collections, then spend the rest of the video complaining about bug / fungus / bacterial issues, how maintaining them all is equal to a full time job, ect...  I don't know when keeping houseplants became a competition, but I don't hang out on places like social media in any form, so maybe that is why I don't understand.  I'm content to keep my 'herd' in the low thirties and even that number will be lowered when smaller plants are combined with larger ones.  To each their own....
Scholar
#4346 Old 24th Apr 2021 at 2:25 PM
Going out tonight.

You would think I'd be excited, but I don't really want to go. I'm going because my friends invited me, and I want to see them, but....

Before Coronavirus started, I was just getting to that point/age where I wasn't enjoying nights out as much as I used to. I think you reach an age where it's just not exciting anymore, and you do still enjoy it a bit, but it's not the same. A lot of my friends got to that point about 30, but I'm in my 40s now, so I did still love it for a long time.

A fun night out to me was going clubbing and dancing all night, or at least dancing and mingling in busy bars.

Now we're only allowed to sit outside at a table (table service only, not allowed to go to the bar, so no chance to talk to anyone new) and drink overpriced drinks - it just doesn't seem fun to me at all, I don't see the point.

The place we're going to is out of the city centre, so it's a pain to get to, and I'm worried about how I'm going to get home, as I bet the taxis will be really busy.

Also, no-one wanted to have food, so I'm going to have to eat my tea really early, in order to give me time to brush my teeth and do my make-up afterwards, which always makes me feel a bit sick, as I'm not hungry by then.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4347 Old 24th Apr 2021 at 3:14 PM Last edited by Gargoyle Cat : 24th Apr 2021 at 4:27 PM. Reason: Yeesh...
Eh, being redundant.

Last week I washed all the windows; inside and out. Today I'm doing them again as the Better Life Glass Cleaner I bought, sucks.  It doesn't actually clean anything, it just smears the dirt around.

Then there is the English Ivy 'debate'.  I've been saying since last year that it needs to go.  I don't mind it being out in The Pit near the street, but the rest of it needs go away.  It is a high maintenance plant that needs somebody to stay on top of it and the person that wants to keep it isn't into maintaining things.  His 'policy' is to run the ivy over with the lawn mower and fehgetaboutit. In the mean time, said ivy is starting to wrap around trees and has a couple years worth of oak leaves in it.  I have a entire household to maintain, I refuse to spend my time picking dead leaves out of a plant that I don't want. If he wants to keep it, he can shut off the boob tube or idiot box when he's home and pick dead leaves out of the ivy.

Same debate is now happening with the Lily of the Valley.  It is a pain in the ass, it needs to go.  Again, the counter argument is " I'll just run it over with the lawnmower to keep it check."  Yeah, no.  It is bad enough that the rabbits and chipmunks have made a hot mess out of the hosta garden. We need solutions, not more hot mess.  Running things over with the lawnmower doesn't fix or deal with the problem.

I can't possibly be the only person that has to deal with this BS.  It may not be about English Ivy or Lily of the Valley, it could be about anything.  People in my house want stuff, but the second they have to take care of said stuff, suddenly it is a headache for somebody else.  NOPE!

EDIT: People at the garden center said the same thing I did; now the ivy problem is being taken care of.  We have to wait to deal with much of the Lily of the Valley as it is planted in with hosta and the hostas are not up yet.
Mad Poster
#4348 Old 26th Apr 2021 at 5:12 AM
My mom watched the 1951 animated Disney film Alice in Wonderland...she compared it to watching Wayne's World. But now she knows where my father and I got the jokes and recitations from.

My father and I are like this...strange, mad scientist and his female clone...my mom still wonders how she married, conceived and birthed crazy...how she fell in love with him is a mystery for the universe...lately, I take advantage of any opportunity to bond with my mom, disregarding the oddball quotes and jokes...

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Scholar
#4349 Old 27th Apr 2021 at 1:35 PM
Feeling more cheerful today. My watering seems to be paying off, so far as my kitchen garden goes. I shall have more radishes than I know what to do with! Spring onions were off to a slow start but they're making progress. Also beetroot, which I wasn't sure about but, logically, a lot of identical seedlings growing in a straight line where I sowed beetroot, must be beetroot. Same story with my carrots, which have finally put in an appearance. I also planted a small patch of rocket, which I much prefer over lettuce, and that too is coming on. And, this morning I saw the first appearance of my big onions. So everything I put in the ground is accounted for. I have the ground prepared and the canes set up for growing runner beans, and I await word from Dad (who is something of an expert in the matter of legumes) as to the right time to sow.

We have rain forecast for tomorrow. I hope it's a good downpour and I have a break from toting that watering can about!

Simblr: Elyndaworld *** Wordpress: Tales of Nantrelor
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4350 Old 27th Apr 2021 at 9:27 PM
A couple of weeks ago I spent a couple of hours searching for the drill.  Today I've wasted time looking for the stud finder. I have a idea on how to improve plant lighting in my office so I'm not blinded by a plant bulb, but it seems the stud finder has sprouted legs and ran away from home.  I guess I'll be tapping on walls and putting in yet another order with that place.

Aside from being annoyed, I've felt like gnawing off my arm all afternoon. I'm not hungry, but I have had ribs cooking in the crockpot since noon.  Cooking ribs is one of the few things that triggers my appetite; I could eat all the ribs by myself. My gut would hate me for it and I'd probably get sick, but it is one of things.
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