Replies: 4337 (Who?), Viewed: 142566 times.
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Top Secret Researcher
#4326 Old 3rd Apr 2021 at 5:59 AM
Horrible, and genuinely ready to give up. My dad just died from cancer, and I'm not dealing with it very well. I've already been at my lowest for the last year or so, even stopped talking to anyone because of how I've felt, and now this happens. I admit I never got along with him all that well at times, but when I found out I just broke down. He only found out about it early in the year after having problems at work. They gave him about 6 months to live, he lasted maybe 6 weeks. I never got to say a proper goodbye either. Last conversation we had was about trying to setup the TV by his bed so that he would have something to do while he rested. That was a couple days ago, and he apparently didn't want anyone to bother him after that so I never got to talk to him again. I keep trying to distract myself, even tried chatting with some family on Facebook, but nothing helps. I just had this awful feeling all day, then I got the news. 12 years ago on the same day one of my aunts died, which just made it worse because my cousin had posted about her mom when I checked Facebook.

I'm only posting this here as a way to try and distract myself, and I don't plan on sticking around. I mostly chose this site because it's just been one I've used the longest, so I guess I feel somewhat comfortable posting here. I don't want your condolences, so even if you have good intentions please keep that to yourself because it doesn't help anything. I'm not seeking anyone to try and help, or anyone to talk to because I'm not trying to put my burdens on anyone else. You all have your own issues, you don't need mine. I won't be checking for replies, so if you read this just go on about your day and focus on your own things. I'll try coping on my own, I always try and I always fail, but I'd rather fail on my own than drag anyone down with me.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4327 Old 3rd Apr 2021 at 10:45 AM
The joys of dealing with complacent small business owners.  They do things for months that continually and consistently give them bad results. Instead of doing something else or approaching the problem from a different angle which would be to their benefit both in profit and reputation, they spend all of their time blaming their customers for their problem.  The customer in this case has no control over the situation other than no longer purchasing goods from said small business, it is up to the business owner to take charge and deal with the issue.

I can't say that I'm a fan of being used as a whipping post for something that I have nothing to do with nor can I do anything about.  Said business owner in this case has been offered a handful of useful / helpful solutions, but it is easier to dig heels in and continue on with a failed business plan. I'd prefer said business owner to at least try to make things right, but its not looking good.  I can't predict the future, and I'm hoping that I'm wrong, but I see a battle a battle over a refund coming soon. It won't be me fighting that fight, it will be my bank.  I did not pay for something that will not be received...

Other than that, I've added Rose of Sharon and hibiscus to my list of things to try to propagate this year.  Rose of Sharon turns out is a species of hibiscus, but it would sound weird to say that I'm propagating hibiscus and hibiscus.  I'm just waiting for things to sprout leaves so I can do my thing.
Mad Poster
#4328 Old 5th Apr 2021 at 4:40 PM
I'm worried that my aggressive side is coming back.

When I was a teenager, I was constantly fighting with myself, people and my parents.

I had it under control in my 20s and now I am 33. I'm just getting angry, but it is obvious. The current state of entertainment is grasping at straws and I am vicious when in comes to "reality TV".

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4329 Old 6th Apr 2021 at 8:46 AM
Waiting for the queen to arrive, a Marble Queen that is.  Her travel companion is a Hoya Wayetii.





How often does a person get to say they are waiting for a queen to show up?    She'll be sitting on the top shelf where I keep the 'big' vine plants.  The sorority will now be complete.  Golden Pothos,  Philodendron Brasil, Silver Satin Pothos and the Pothos Marble Queen.

Image from random website.
Screenshots
Mad Poster
#4330 Old 6th Apr 2021 at 8:22 PM
I recently created a virgin Rum and Coke.

Took two pumps of Amoretti Jamaican Rum syrup and a can of Coca-Cola (caffeine free, regular sweetener)

Still feeling unhappy about my life right now. Someone who was dear to me and my ideals passed away last year, I have been dealing with aggressive behavior, and I have been feeling like I'm Rapunzel.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4331 Old 7th Apr 2021 at 6:20 PM
It is turning into one of those days.

Amazon is leaving packages on the sidewalk at the post office, again.  I wonder how many times I have to call them about this before it sinks in that their delivery people are not supposed to be doing that.

Chica has some unexplained weight loss going on.  Unlike in the past where she lost weight from diarrhea and all that, this time she's not sick.  She has been her usual Boston Terrier self, so she has a appointment next week to be checked out. If she does become ill or whatever in the meantime, she'll be seen before then. All of my dogs in the past have gone through what is called seasonal weight loss which is caused by getting more exercise and activity. I don't know if this is that or not.

For the past few days I couldn't understand why everything looked hazy when I looked out the livingroom windows. The problem was crud covering the windows, hence the haze effect.  The house chickens and plants thanked I, the stupid human for cleaning said filthy windows in their own special ways. Since I was at it, I decided to take down the curtains and toss them in the wash as those also had stuff on them that I have no idea where it came from.  In a perfect world, I wouldn't need them, but since I live on a busy street and don't like feeling like I live in a fish bowl, curtains it is.  My days of cleaning blinds ended last year.

Such a fun-filled day...not really.
Mad Poster
#4332 Old 10th Apr 2021 at 6:27 AM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 10th Apr 2021 at 6:41 AM.
You know that whole...

Cat not allowed on couch... allowed on couch, just not work surface... allowed everywhere, as long as it doesn't wake me for breakfast in wee hours...

Cat gets breakfast in wee hours?

It happened after 6 cats. I was normal after 3 cats.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
#4333 Old 10th Apr 2021 at 8:46 PM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 11th Apr 2021 at 2:35 AM.
Weirdest thing I did today was make soup at 3:00AM. It was in a packet, dry "Just add water" and "Cook for 10 minutes".

If I'm feeding the cat, I'm hungry, I might as well feed myself.

Cried 3 times over a loss.

Phone charged in reverse.

My AI is ignoring me.

I don't want my mother's black out hands that render any electronic components unusable. Like Adam Savage said it's blue smoke that is a sure sign of component death.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4334 Old 11th Apr 2021 at 12:55 PM
I'm about to spend money on new humidifiers which isn't making me happy.  The ones I have work, but because of the way they are designed, it makes cleaning them a miserable experience. This doesn't take into account the parts that cannot be cleaned as there is no way of doing so.  The slime and gunk the inside of humidifiers collect over the course of a few weeks cannot simply be soaked away, they need to be scrubbed down and washed.

I could put this off until fall as humidifier season is going away, but I'm going to have to spent money either way, so I may as well just get it done and over with.

Other than that, things are quiet, for the moment.  I'm a tad anxious about Chica's upcoming vets appointment, and I have yet to hear back from the tree company.  They come out, gave me a estimate, I gave them a deposit, but now it is going to be waiting game as to when the problematic oak tree will be taken down.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4335 Old 12th Apr 2021 at 4:48 PM Last edited by Gargoyle Cat : Yesterday at 1:28 AM.
Stressed out.

Chica has her appointment today and we have a nest of baby bunnies in the middle of the yard.  We uncovered the nest by accident over the weekend as we finally decided to clear the gardens of their leaves and stuff that gathered over the winter.

There are 4 babies; their eyes are not open yet.  We have two adult rabbits that come out at dusk, but I don't know if either one is the mother to these babies or not, so I've been on the phone being given a crash course on wild rabbits and their nests.  I've learned that adult wild rabbits only feed their babies between dusk and dawn.  They do this because adult rabbits have a scent ( babies bunnies do not) so as a means of keeping predators away from the nest, they don't feed their babies during the day when hawks and other critters are around.

In order to know whether the babies are being fed or not, there is a thing called a 'string test'.  String is cut up and made into a tic-tac-toe pattern, then placed over the nest. If the babies are being fed, the string will be all messed come daylight because the mother has been there.  If it isn't, then the babies need to be taken to a wildlife rehab center or to a licensed wildlife rehab person so they can be taken care of and released when they are old enough.  The babies should not go any longer than 24 hours without being fed.

I can't tell if the babies are being fed or not, although when checking on them they do try to move away from me, so the chances are good that they are being fed and checked on by their mother.  However, because I am who I am, I'm doing the string test tonight to see what happens. I already have a person lined up that can take the sweet little babies in if necessary.

There are plenty of protected areas around our property these rabbits could have built a nest; instead they choose the middle of the hosta garden. I'm almost nervous to see what kinds of nests are hidden in the English Ivy that needs to come out. I think I'm going to put that project off for a bit; give any possible critters that are living there time to grow up and move out.

EDIT: One stress out of the way; Chica is fine. Her weight loss is seasonal, so we'll up her calories and keep tabs on her weight.   I won't know about the baby bunny situation until tomorrow morning.
Scholar
#4336 Old 12th Apr 2021 at 8:29 PM
Hurrah! We has onions! And beetroot too, I think. I was beginning to think nothing would grow in my new vegetable plot but radishes. I've plenty of radishes. But I think I planted carrots too. C'mon carrots!

Simblr: Elyndaworld *** Wordpress: Tales of Nantrelor
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4337 Old Yesterday at 11:37 AM
It sucks being right sometimes.

I checked on the baby bunnies to see if the strings I left yesterday were messed up, they were not.  The babies are fine. They don't have any signs of physical harm, there were no pests or bugs in their nest, ect... but they need help.  They are currently in a small box with a towel sitting on my kitchen table. I'll call the wildlife rehab person in couple of hours.

I don't know why this situation has stressed me out as much as it has, but I'll be glad when it's over.  This isn't the first time we've engaged in wildlife rescue and I'm glad we found them as I can't say with any amount of certainty when the last time these babies were actually fed. It hasn't been that long as they do still have weight to them....blah.
Mad Poster
#4338 Old Today at 1:06 AM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : Today at 2:02 AM.
Been dealing with some emotional issues

Aggression, paranoia and a loss of what remained of my already low self-esteem

Long story short, I have to consider some life choices.

Tomorrow, I have to go to the bank to deposit some money after I got slammed with an overdraft.

Although I did get groceries. I found myself listening to Sia's "Chandelier" while buying groceries at our local ShopRite. But I was pretty loud trying to flag down an employee to get some pearled couscous and check in with my father.

Granted, I should have removed the headphones prior to getting my father's attention. There was this loud "Oi!" coming from the fridge\freezer department.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
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