I'll have a look Theres so much damn frizz I dunno what to do. I always worry i look unkept

I never use a hair dryers but I read a defuser would help so I've bought one. Dunno if it will work but we'll see.

Went to the cardiologist. They had trouble getting my blood pressure until the cardiologist came in. He asked me how I was feeling, emotionally and mentally. I told him I was growing and trying new things and was upset my parents went to a noodle house and I really wanted to try the ramen and the infamous Porta Potty incident where I just want to thoroughly clean it and then throw it into the Trash Masher. I was in rare form.

Ate a small cheesy, beef and black bean burrito. It was pretty rich.

Bought a pair of scissors designated for unboxing dolls. After much complaining, I committed about $5.50 to a small pair with precision tips and titanium blades and comfy handles

Went grocery shopping and bought some juice, two sodas I mix together and the sweet lemon-lime one takes the grape must bitterness of the alcohol-free, caffeine-free sangria. It is a regional thing, so I indulge when the opportunity presents itself. Bought frozen chicken dinners, lemon and ginger herbal tea, pork ramen (Maruchan exclusive flavor) and fried rice mix.

Dropped off my broken doll at the UPS store. Took me less than 3 minutes to drop it off and scan it into the database.

My mother is making a ton of arts and crafts with her new cricut system machines. She made a t-shirt with a paint-splattered kiss mark for me as a test. Right now, she's trying to make conversation heart shaped ornaments and transfer of the red letters onto the glass hearts is frustrating her. I'm a little worried she's going to burn out.

Overall, I deposited my tooth allowance in the bank and got all my backed up chores handled.

Today I went to pick up my new eyeglasses. I donated the pair I came in with on the spot and today I will try to find all my old eyeglasses and donate them to those in need. They served me well and someone needs them. Vision and dental is expensive and hard to maintain in terms of non-insurable health care.

Went shopping at Walmart and Hobby Lobby. Again, the Taco Bell in Philipsburg is once again, understaffed. I could tell by the permanent investment in a Now Hiring sign that is essentially a flag to get both good and bad attention. I was told if they have signs like that, the turnover rate is on the high side.

Began cleaning up my room (seriously, my room is like where matter sucked in from black holes end up deposited while humming in the key of B flat. I open the closet door and random shit spills out.) Found two more pairs of eyeglasses to donate.

Edit 2/11/2022: I finally got the second table out and was able to free the second closet door...and like the first one, random shit spilled out. I was able to get some clothes and shoes ready to donate. Found some doll heads and accessories. Found a list of angels and their dominions. I still need to clean under the bed.

Less than 2 weeks till the wedding and suddenly Adam's Dad and step-mum have decided they're not going. He made the effort to call them and explain why they're not on the head table (they have a disabled son so we didnt want to leave him on a table of strangers), 10 mins later they call claiming his Step-Mums been having headaches so she and his step-brother won't make it. Then 5 mins later his Dad calls and says seeing as he's not on the head table he's not gonna do a speech anymore. Then he messages me 5 mins later to tell me he's taking his wife to the hospital and so he can't come either.

So yeah, so fun that I've already paid £150 for their places and it's non refundable so awesome. So yknow if anyone wants a free meal on Thursday 24th

today was pretty cool. i made a friend and we really click so far, which is neat. it’s normally really difficult for me to connect with others, but these were pretty different circumstances than making friends in class or in a club so i suppose we broke the schizotypal barrier more easily. i hope i get to know him better. i’m still extremely awkward naturally, and i casually brought up how i thought i would’ve weirded him out by then but he admitted that he’s normally very socially anxious himself so the success of our interaction came as a surprise to him too. but maybe it’s because we’re both awkward that we managed to converse successfully and find out we have a lot in common.

i’m agonizing over how i'm gonna make this weapon reach 4000 polygons. not only am i efficient with poly count so i don’t normally go too high, i also chose to make possibly the worst weapon available for the required poly count: an “exterremancer’s staff.” it’s a staff. how the hell am i going to get it up to 4000 polys without just smoothing it? man. gonna have to add a lot of decorations and i might even just sculpt some weird detailed wings or something. demon magical girl staff.

p.s.: another one of my classmates’ projects got shared to a free download board for bdsm devices. it was pet props, as in… yknow, things for a dog. this is the life.

Valentine's Day...I bought some groceries and picked up some sushi from the counter at ShopRite.

I downloaded a better ledger app for my bank accounts and cash boxes. It doesn't have crippleware (which has paywalls that forces you to pay to use, which I minimize in apps not related to entertainment in using. I'm already invested in a few non-entertainment apps.) But it does have ads, so I may consider buying a license key to get it one and done.

It's not exactly sexy, but I do like simple solutions to balancing checkbooks. Simplicity is best for those have enough complex problems.

Still undergoing treatment for numerous health problems across a number of aspects. I am pretty much unhappy how my life turned out when I started going to hospitals on regular basis at age 13. 21 years later, they tell me I have metabolic syndrome and my waistline matches my height.



Oh well, at least the cat doesn't belittle me. She's thankful I am at her beck and call. She even sleeps on my head (at the top).

I'm having the worst allergy attack ever. It's like having diarrhea...but in the nose. And I think the antihistamine tablet I took was a placebo, fifteen minutes and I'm still snotting like a leaking pipe.

Cleaning up my bedroom.

Laundry, donations, trash, recycling, rearranging furniture, and of course, this is my project for the week. Found a Sheriff Woody doll in the closet, laying in true ragdoll fashion on the floor.

Edit 2/16/2022: More of the floor is exposed and my closet is getting cleaned up. Had to stow an ugly cat painting I did (honestly, it's not my best work) behind a couple of plastic tote boxes. More garbage collected and some old greeting cards bound for a memory box. My favorites include Cupid, about to take aim at a couple of humans with "junk in the trunk" for Valentine's Day and he's smirking in delight and for Easter, the Easter Bunny is mistaken for a slipper, quite a rude awakening.

Joe Ranft, revilo and Gary Larsen are my main storytelling influences. I can be sweet but I do have a sick sense of humor that I like to experiment with.

I found all four pairs of my old eyeglasses and I am wearing my new red "Jimmy McShane of Baltimora" inspired frames today. I got two pairs at a discount. The red ones were pretty chic and I had indigo tortoiseshell ones that could give Elton John impersonators a run for their money. My fashion style is so loud, I could break the sound barrier and eardrums. I wear a rainbow sweatjacket on chilly mornings. I can safely say I am an individual and proud to be unique.

My mother was sent home early today and we had Chinese food delivered. My mother left at 4:00PM to pick up my father (They carpool to work with just them. No sense in driving the other car in tandem formation when news reports from the NOAA say a century's worth of flooding is coming in 30 years.)

I am worn out from washing dishes and putting them away and reloading, feeding and watering the cat (the cat and I both have damaged kidneys, mine from long term lithium use, hers from terminal kidney disease. She knows I have similar problems and yes, we talk it out. Mouthy, but I don't mind.) and cleaning up a bedroom that was neglected for two years in clutter. About a week's worth of work and I can see the floor again.

7 days to go

This week is gonna be long. I'll be so busy from Monday (at least I get the weekend? )
I'm seeing my family on Monday, then picking my dress up Tuesday, meal with the bridesmaids, groomsmen's partners and a few other guests who are staying at the hotel on Wednesday, and then bam wedding!

Either my manic side had crashed and I am now facing depression or I caught some type of sleeping sickness.

I have been drifting in and out of sleep throughout this morning.

So very tired and I still have a mess in the corner to clean up.

Edit: I am starting to feel more like myself again. I think this depressive blip was just a bit of a bump in the road.

Edit 2: I received a really belated Christmas gift from my uncle William (he's relatively close enough to be my father's twin in age as the both of them played the Tweedle twins in a stage production of Alice in Wonderland in the 1970s). He sent me a sketchbook with a special page for contact info if lost and two red ribbons to divide the sketchbook into different subjects of sketches and $40, which I stashed away the cash for my magnum opus. The sketchbook was basically covered in library books with all the titles featuring strong female leads. I even contacted him to thank him ASAP.

Edit 3: Came back from the nephrologist. She was pretty much a bearer of good news: my kidneys are improving. 'Keep taking your medicine, drink plenty of watery fluids, keep making small changes." She noted I dropped 1.6 pounds since the cardiologist 2 weeks ago and that my blood pressure is improving. Any bruising on my backend near a pulled muscle has healed up. Still, I am happy to hear such good news and advice.

Edit 4: More belated Christmas gifts came in the mail. I received a gift card ($20) and cash from Uncle John's family ($25) and Aunt Jeanne's family. I stashed the cash in a cash box and spend the gift card on an anthology of French vignettes with South Korean character goods characters as the stars. It's sweet, gentle and wholesome.

UVs for my weapon kinda done but they’re not really optimal. i have plenty of time to work and rework things as necessary, though i do find it annoying that we spend an entire week on UVs.

i found a massager that may be able to get to the long, deep muscle knot up along my shoulder blade. i haven’t gotten a chance to try but i’m hoping.

today also marks the first time i’ve ever interacted with another schizotypal person. i don’t know if i’ve ever met anyone else with it, but it was just a bit of back and forth about how it sucks and then we went back to being asocial on the forums (not here). i wonder how many are out there and just don’t say anything because we’re naturally major loners.

i have so much muscle tension y’all i may just give up and go to a masseuse.

Still recovering from my wedding on Thursday. The sofas are full of wedding presents and the bouquets and a cardboard cut out of my cousin.

Everything is still in a huge bag on my livingroom floor. I've been using Ivy's spare tooth brush because I have no idea where mine ended up, nor my shampoo brush... but I have gained 3 hair curlers that are my bridesmaids.

Also I've had cake for breakfast more often then id care to admit and we keep ordering food so we don't have to cook because neither of us want to do any house chores.

I hope you had a great time @Bigsimsfan12 and congratulations!

I got a package earlier and enjoyed watching the DVD inside. It was cutesie, it was wholesome, it was enjoyable.

I'm also getting to the age where Tupperware, walk-in showers and other home goods with impeccable taste motifs are a pleasure to indulge in.

Edit 2/28/2022: In the past two days I found two rare dolls, one at Hackettstown's Walmart for the price point default of $50 and one at Philipsburg's Walmart for 40% off of $50, so $30. The latter sounded too good to be true. But I wasn't disappointed.

Doll hunting is a hobby of mine as well as anything artsy with dolls. I also bought a photo keeper chest with 16 photo keepers that I am using for my Zuru 5 Surprise Mini Brand miniatures. I do get doubles, but that just means I can build store and home sets for my doll photography.

Thank you! It was a bit of a rocky start - I ended up being 30 minutes late. Not my fault, people kept bringing Ivy and Elden upstairs to the bridal suite (even though they were suppose to be downstairs with Adam) so I had 1 bridesmaid with each child and only 1 bridesmaid doing my hair (1 metre long) and then doing my long corset. Every time I kept asking my bridesmaids for the time they refused to tell me so I "didn't stress out" but that's just not how I work as a person so I was getting really stressed and upset and when I got downstairs the registrar shouted at me just before I went to walk down the aisle and it really ruined my day. I wanted to cry. I've never been late to anything in my whole life yet I was 30 minutes late to my wedding. Its still really weighing on my mind.

Also I spent weeks picking out the perfect outfits for the kids, only to find out there are no pictures of them looking nice. I wrapped Elden in a hotel towel and put a bib on him so he could keep his little suit clean... turns out Adam didn't use common sense to take them off for pictures and he put Ivy in an old stained 9-12 month "white" cardigan (luckily I took it off her before we went down the aisle, but its in all the pictures before). Also by the time she walked down the aisle she had pulled her hair bobbles out and her hair was everywhere I'm kinda upset about it because I thought i had idiot proofed her hair (if she wants it down, throw a tiara on just before we go down the aisle) but no obviously it makes sense to have her tiara sent up to my room in a bag, as if I don't have enough to worry about.

Also Adam's Dad left right after the ceremony. Didnt even stay for the meal. We had to call him back to the venue just to get a picture. I could tell Adam was heart broken about it.

My dolls, doll clothes, miniatures, storage units and Season 3 of Molang on DVD came in the mail.

I bought Dead or Alive 6 for my PC and my Golden Chrome XBOX 360 Wireless PC Controller. I even bought a set of Nintendo portable and Switch cartridge cases.

I will start going through my shelves after the boxes my merch came in are empty and get the Free Stuff Boxes ready.

got a minor procedure done yesterday afternoon and i think something has probably gone horribly wrong with it. likely the medicine in the implant is too high a dose for me, because i’ve been getting sick constantly since i got home and my first puke was even at the office. i can’t keep any food or even water down. i throw up p much once an hour and it kept me awake until like 4 AM so i’m just waiting for later this morning to call and potentially get it removed if i’m still struggling. i got a bit scarily dehydrated before my roommate got me some electrolytes at the store. i feel a lot better between spells with the electrolytes vs without them; i don’t feel so weak and i can keep my eyes open, so i’m hoping if i give someone some money they’ll go get some more for me this morning. i’ve been awake since 6:30, it’s 7:20 and i’ve gotten sick twice. if only this house didn’t normally sleep so late.

update: doctor said that this didn’t sound like anything they’d ever heard of with this particular implant, but that they knew there were a few stomach bugs going around. it turned out to be a 24 hour bug, thank god. i haven’t vomited since about 1, which is shortly before the time i first got sick. so all is well, i am hydrated once more

Its lovely and sunny today. I might take the kids to the park later. I was suppose to go to a baby shower tomorrow but Adam's boss "forgot" he booked it off and they can't find cover. One of my friend's friends offered to drive me, but obviously because I'd have the kids we'd have to mess about transferring the carseats and honestly wrangling a toddler and a small baby around a party doesn't sound like much fun, especially with my social anxiety.

The cat will not leave me alone. Do you know how hard it is to type on a smartphone while your arm goes numb?

Nevermind, best day ever. My friend ended up (by chance encounter) meeting my JustNoMIL and SILs. Hilarious. I wasn't there, but she was texting me live updates of what was happening and it was the best. SIL insulted friend's husband's job and then flirted with him. MIL flipped out over being told she would have to wait 15 mins for a free hot dog.

Put some video games cases I no longer use, Garfield comics and manga I no longer read into the free stuff box.

I'm preparing for Spring cleaning in the house.

There was a meme that shown this exact sentiment. An owl in Spring is posted with the words, "it's spring!", followed up by a picture of the owl pelted with snow squalls and the word "NOPE!"

Back when I lived in Lynnwood, WA, if it hit above 50°F, the men would take off their shirts. My aunt LuAnne ask if I spotted any attractive men and I said "That's depending on what you call attractive..."

Ivy vomited yesterday at around 9am. Shes been fine since but the schools rule is shes not allowed back until 48 hours later. Its supposed to be 48 hours anyway, which puts us on Thursday morning. Her school is in the afternoon but they've said not to take her Thursday afternoon.... because the 48 hours are up in the morning?... it makes 0 sense. But anyway. It sucks because its dress up week and she loves dress up.

I'll have to take her out somewhere later, I'm already super bored of being in the house and so is she. Hopefully the weathers nice and we can go to the park.

Pretty good- I'm still on holiday

Anyway went on an adventure to the other side of town to get to the two big 2nd had shops. I like the older one though cos that's the one where they repair/ restore/ clean stuff that they sell. And that one has like everything, it even had a caravan surprisingly. They had a copy of the Sims 1 Hot Date and a bunch of PS2 games I played as a kid (nostaliga hit hard), and paperbacks were selling at like €0,25 each (mum said no). We got 3 garden chairs and a foldable garden table, though we'll have to go back to pick up the last chair because small car problems

I guess the whole "50°F shirts off guy" is a regional thing for the Pacific Northwest. They looked kinda like the men in triremes that Romans would use and they were armed with a bullwhip and a drum to keep the rowing going.

We also got a bit of snow.