well, i'll let you guys make your own judgement but here's what happened:

see that idiot with the guitar, that's Toad, yep that 6 foot tall guy with a god-awful striped hairstyle is Toad, did the costume department even try?


well, that's not as bad as Toad, in fact I think it's okay, the problem, they only look like that for maybe ten minutes of the movie, the rest of the time they look like some bums from brooklyn (which that's exactly what they are in the movie, two plumbers from brooklyn)


well, here's Daisy and Yoshi, I was surprised Yoshi wasn't a midget in a green jumpsuit by the time Yoshi appeared so I was happy to see that wasn't totally messed up (spoilers: Yoshi gets stabbed in the neck and left for dead)


The Bob-Omb, all I can say is that this was the best thing in the movie, and the only time I wasn't going WTF.


see that guy with a horrible hairstyle, that's bowser, yep, that's bowser. And see those two 8 foot tall giants behind "bowser"? they're goombas, yes they're the 2 foot tall living mushrooms that mario mercilessly jumped on in the past.

the plot: the introduction of the movie was god awful, bob hoskins (Mario) narrates how the dinosaurs went extinct and then goes on about a meteor creating multiple dimensions. much later some chick is running through the sewers and gets jumped by "bowser", some crap I can't remember happens but some egg ends up at a church and out pops baby daisy (in front of a bunch of nuns no less).
about 30 years later mario and luigi are two plumbers that are out of luck, they can't get any business, and luigi is the worst navigator i've ever seen. but then there's some plumbing stuff going on at an excavation site, mario and luigi show up, they meet daisy, daisy gets kidnapped and mario and luigi chase the captors into the excavation site, from there they find the alternate dimension (mushroom kingdom? no, some rotten city full of slime).
then mario and luigi get arrested, they find out bowser wants a rock that daisy has, some crazy stuff happens that isn't anything like a mario game (except a car chase, wait no, that wasn't anything like Mario kart anyway). mario and luigi have goombas shoot at them with freakin bazookas, they meet Toad, who gets arrested and de-evolved into a goomba, he also grows about two feet taller. in the meantime daisy is being held captive and meets yoshi, who's some dinosaur with a long tongue (only seen once) but then yoshi get stabbed in the neck. so then mario and luigi climb up koopa tower to save daisy, get daisy and "the rock". a chase between mario, luigi, daisy, and some other idiots ensues, and then bowser is shooting at mario and luigi with a bazooka, but mario plants a bob-omb and blows up bowser, who then de-evolves into a T-rex, and then dies.
in the end we see mario and luigi in brooklyn about two years later, and then daisy bursts through their front door with a machine gun and an ammo belt and says they have a new mission.
yep, that is the plot, and every bit of what I said actually happens in the movie, I think I actually left out a few freakin weird things that aren't anything like a mario game.

plot: 3/10 on it's own it'd be like a decent movie about a plumber on drugs, but this is mario, and, well, what the hell?

characters: 2/10, the bob-omb and yoshi were the only things they got right.

acting: 4/10 Bob Hoskins is so awesome as mario that he's the reason I didn't give the acting a 0.

set design: 6/10 if this wasn't mario, i'd have been quite impressed, the set design fits the movies tone, but the movie doesn't fell like mario, and neither does the set.
overall: 4/10 this movie scarred my childhood, it might be okay if you see it with a mindset that already knows it has almost nothing to do with mario.

*cries* That's not Mario!

Was this move actually made...

O_O *sobs*

yes, Zimz, this movie actually exists, it was made in 1993.

it was a travesty in all senses of the word. I remember seeing it years ago. All i could think was "Wow this is dumb."

what a retarded movie... No wonder I've never heard of it.

You didn't miss much. the man who portrayed mario was a porn star.

actually your thinking of someone else raps, you're thinking of Ron Jeremy, who portrayed mario before Hoskins.

I remember that movie sort of, I saw it in the theatre when it first came out. So my memory of it is not all that great. But luigi looks HOT!

*wishes he could see Luigi as a porn star* sigh

*saw this movie*
...
It hurts.

At least its better than:
1. Titanic: The Animated Musical
2. Robowar (Reb Brown ftw)
3. Howard the Duck
4. Kazaam
5. Steel (Shaq, please stay away from movies)

sorry, fan-boy for just about anything.

*is very proud of his Rampage [Korkusuz] (Turkish Rambo) poster, on his wall*

*Gags on his drink while loling*

Ok, I watched this movie today *COUGHILLEGALDOWNLOADCOUGH*


One word:


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OMG! So stupid it's kinda funny. I like their idea of reinvisioning the Mushroom Kingdom, but they did it wrong. Way wrong. I mean seriously? A grungy dirty fungus-covered city that looks like that neighborhood you lock your doors whenever you drive within 5 miles of? nonononononono! MAYBE they could have pulled it off it they had better sets and no (or better) cars.

They could have pulled off the evolution/devolution thing better too.


Gah, If they had waited until now to make it, it'd probably be so much better.



But Yoshi is so awesome! I'd kinda like to see him greener and with his white spots.

I had to write a story for my health class once about the effects of drugs. I did it about Mario and in the story mario is a plumber who gets addicted to mushrooms and begins seeing everything the way it looks in a mario game, I failed the assignment, but it was definitely worth it. but I don't think a mario movie could ever work, zelda probably could, metroid probably could, but mario just wasn't meant to happen.