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Not stupid! We all overlook things and/or reason differently from the game creators. (See "What did you learn today?" thread in the community forum.) If you have enough scholarship money you can move straight into a residence instead of a dorm; but remember to leave enough for the first bill payment and correcting the sartorial disaster of growing up.
When they move back home, unless you have the game modded they will appear in the family bin with either the $20K handout or their household funds on graduation, depending on which is more. If you have multiple sims in a dorm or campus residence, everyone but the last one out will get the $20K handout, so it's possible, in a Greek house or with a steady enough supply of incoming freshman, for university households to accumulate a lot of cash in hand. Mods exist that will allow you to specify how much household money a graduate takes with them, to put grant money into the bank so you can have access to it on top of the $20K handout, to eliminate the $20k handout, to charge for tuition, etc. But it is important to understand the base mechanics before you go running to a mod, so you know exactly what it is you want, and that's one of the things we're here for.
Ugly is in the heart of the beholder.
(My simblr is
Sim Media Res .
Widespot,
Widespot RFD: The Subhood, and
Land Grant University are all available here. In case you care.)