My sim was exploring a tomb and saw a mummy. He immediately rolled a want to defeat the mummy.
Me: "CAN you defeat a mummy?"
Sim: "I have level 7 Athleticism, and level 9 Martial arts. I've never lost a fight yet!"
Me "Practice dummies don't count"
Sim: OK, then we have plenty of time for me to visit the sphinx if I need to, and I already have a soulpeace gem...
Me. Ok, but be careful and good luck...

The mummy approached, and launched into battle with the blood-chilling battle cry of 'We have so much in common, I would love to get to know you better!"

Me: "If you offer him flowers I'm quitting without saving!"


Edit: It doesn't surprise me that Mortimer Goth would drop a baby next to a meteor. He's been weird since he made enemies out of everyone in the neighborhood in sims 1 by spamming that sock puppet interaction. I still think EA should have given him the "insane" trait.

It's a bad idea to place a sauna and a ice cream machine (Seasons item, not the one from Store) on the same community lot. Sims will obsessively change into their swimsuits, sit down and enjoy their ice creams in sauna, even when there's perfectly good sofas and patio chairs right next to the ice cream machine. I had at least ten sims routefailing with ice creams in their hands and waiting for their turn in a small sauna room. Too bad I lost my screenshots.

So. I have a new asshole Sim, Dameon Tier. Basically think of Eric Cartman/Porky Minch and that's Dameon in a nutshell.


Erika's husband was understandably pissed off when she started snogging Dameon in front of him and Gator, but um...I wasn't expecting them to crowd the bedroom once they decided to go fuck. Guess who forgot privacy was turned off.


Baby you are not a magician. Or an acrobat. Or a singer. Get off the stage!


Dameon set fire to the consignment store. A paparazzi asshole died in the ensuing fire, and then only when the fire had extinguished itself, did anyone call the fucking fire department. I also noticed this snazzily dressed child.

Ummm...Misslaheela? That's child Gator.
I absolutely swear I had nothing to do with that. My games just hate Gator.

Well, once again, Mingham has reduced me to a giggling wreck with his posts. Good show, sir. Good. Show.

I fear for all of Simnation, and it's various inhabitants. Of course, should Larry decide to set up an arranged marriage between Sprog and some poor woman, I fear more for the bride than anyone else. I feel that Larry wouldn't be above something like that...

On the other hand though he'd probably realise that it'd just end up with a dead daughter-in-law and no potential heirs.

Oh, he isn't remotely above that. Soon he'll be doing exactly that with Rick, in a gender-inverted parody of the sort of social climber marriages that took place between rich American heiresses and bankrupt British aristocrats with impressive titles near the end of the nineteenth century. Most likely while holding Rick at gunpoint throughout the entire ceremony, because A: Larry is an atrocious human being and B: does anyone really expect him to be a competent matchmaker?

...He's already completely ruled out trying that with Sprog, though. Even Larry isn't that stupid.

Fears have been slightly abated... but not for long...

Oh my gosh. At first, I somehow mistook Dwayne Wolff for a grown-up Gator. I was thinking, "Bloodied, WHY?!? Why is your Gator BALDING?!?" Then I saw this part and sighed in relief. Then I glanced at the picture above and once again screamed, "WHY?!?"

I know what you mean though. For whatever reason, whenever my male characters age up at least through teenagehood (so infant to toddler to child to teenager), they notoriously get female CAS stuff. I don't know what foul glitch is causing it to happen, but I was not at all happy when my Severin aged to a toddler and had that little girl toddler's haircut with the bow in it. Then he aged up to child and had that exact same spaghetti strap get-up. So my game hates Severin. (Not entirely surprised about that, really, but still.)

Or maybe Sims 3 just hates the Wolffs in general.

Weeelllll I must confess that I downloaded some gender converted children's clothing. I have at least one character who has been gender confused since childhood, and plus the male to female conversions include the male athletic uniform type outfits which was just stupid of EA not to do themselves. It makes it interesting when CAS randomly generates a child and I get a bald person wearing a skirt and can't tell if it's a boy or a girl.

What the hell was EA smoking when they thought doing THIS was a good idea

Animal abuse! Collar on too tight! Someone, call PETA, STAT!

An entire scenario played out in my mind of PETA making a sims parody, and then EA sued them. I nearly lost it

So it's Fall, and a thunderstorm blows up. My pregnant Sim decides this would be a perfect time to train her boyfriend (who has the tired moodlet) on her weight bench. Did I mention the weight bench is outside because there was no room inside for it?



It's the dead of Winter (my favorite), and there is a blizzard, and deep snow already on the ground. My pregnant Sim (different one) wants to play tug of war with the new puppy. So she and the puppy decide the best place to do this is outside in the blizzard. I have noticed that both the puppy and kitten spend most of their time outside, in the snow. They don't have pethouses outside, but beds and food bowls inside. Keep in mind that the snow is so deep that both are completely covered and can't see over it every time they are outside.

I was fiddling the CAS Sim Bin, and this happened:

Is that a Panda fairy?

Dammit, my game is so lacking. Must get Scumthorpes and panda fairies now.

What worries me after seeing TeenSprog is that I have a female sim who could be his girlfriend when he gets older... Except that along with being an evil, hot-headed-mean-spirited kleptomaniac who is becoming the Empress of Evil, she is also Lucky. Which means Vylera will never meet him.

I look at that, then at your avatar, and can't help but think your game did that on purpose just to screw with your head XD

My teen Sim, Kenny Bobbit Alehaster, won't stop stomping on his son's pumpkins.

...That sounds like a euphemism. I hate my brain.

It took me a second to understand...


WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!?!?!

And, for once, I do have a sims-related picture to share. The gist of it is that I was trying to get a feel for some characters of mine that I haven't drawn yet, and I was making references. So, I put one on a pose and... this happened.


Lizzi, you were supposed to be a serious character, but you can loosen up sometimes. I promise.

Needless to say, there was some face editing going on afterwards.

EDIT: As an afterthought, I would like to point out that I have fully resigned myself to not being funny.

This is more of a WTF moment on the game's part than a Sim's part...

On my first full moon night, I never knew so many WTF things could happen at once. First a zombie pops up in the back yard and I see Christina's having some fun with the sprinkler. So I decided it would be funny if they would play together in it (knowing how tame the zombies are). But then they became attracted to each other! Apparently, Gussie (the zombie) likes Sims who have knowledge of the "crafts."



Crafts, heh, right. (Christina didn't have any skills at the time)

And when he was done, he fell asleep on the rocking chair.



...How dafaq did he get into my house?!

And the strangest thing is, once the moon was no longer out he changed back into a human and said he "had to leave." I thought zombies lived in the ground!



But wait, there's more! Christina had a zombified version of herself pop up in the back yard. This zombie clone just stood there for hours in the same spot moaning and groaning, and when it was time to leave, she BECAME HUMAN TOO AND LEFT IN A BIG LEMON.

Zombie form:

Human form:

This boggles my mind too; most of the times zombies stand at my front door all like FUCK IT'S LOCKED HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BREAK AND ENTER NOW while I'm like oh for Chrissakes shut up.

Then one time two of them managed to get in. When I wasn't looking. So I spied on the zombies left outside, waiting for one of them to go over to the door.

"FUUUUCK I CAN'T GET IN D:!"

There was only one door.
I don't even.



LOL hey, it's one moment of "OH JESUS CHRIST WTF IS WRONG WITH BL00DIEDHELL D:" for you!

It's every day for me!

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this situation?







On another note, this guy's wife went to the consignment shop today. There was a wild horse inside, who could not get back outside.

I'll put this in spoilers, for those who keep up with my legacy blog and haven't read the latest chapter yet.