Replies: 54 (Who?), Viewed: 14281 times.
Page 1 of 3
Original Poster
#1 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 3:29 AM
Default How do you decide who your Sims date or marry?
Do you make your decision based on looks? Chemistry? Whether they roll a want to? How do you choose whether they'll end up with a man or woman (or both)?
Field Researcher
#2 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 3:49 AM
I don't start looking for a mate for my Sims until they roll a want to flirt with someone, have their first kiss, woohoo, etc. If it's with a specific person, I'll let them try to do whatever it is with that specific person. If not, I check to see if there's anyone in their relationship panel that they have good chemistry with, and I usually prefer for it to be someone they're already friends with, rather than calling up someone they've only spoken to, like, once, and then never seen again (unless there's someone they have three bolts with or who I think they'd make an exceptional match with). If there isn't, I use the find-a-mate crystal ball and pick whomever I think is the most suitable match from the choices it provides. I almost always choose a playable if it's an option... unless the townie/NPC has three bolts with my Sim, I just really prefer for them to date another playable.

As for sexuality... I just go with whatever I see them as, or whatever they lean toward naturally. It's rare that I have homosexual couples, just because my natural inclination is to make a hetero couple and go through the whole baby-making process, but I do have a couple.
#3 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 4:31 AM
As far as their gender preference I randomize that when either they are created or when they age up to teen using the Sim blender. For dating well I tend to let them make that decision either by them rolling wants to date someone or I might have them "scope the room" but often ACR takes care of it for me.

I pretty much only play born in game Sims at this point so most of them start dating in their teens. Usually I will send them to one of the community lots I've set up specifically for teens, I've got a bowling alley, an arcade and a dance/karaoke club that I use almost exclusively for teens, so they can meet and great the other teens. I let them do what they want and most often it doesn't take long for someone to flirt with them or for them to flirt with someone there.

I usually repeat the process in Uni once all crush/love relationships have been wiped, although they do tend to gravitate right towards whomever they dated as teens if they age up together.

When it comes to marriage well that is for 3 bolt attraction only. Since I give every student a 50/50 shot at having their aspiration change at the beginning of their Jr year (literally it's a coin toss) it's possible that I could have a couple that had 3 bolts but suddenly that changes and then marriage is out.

Forces me to have a little drama in my game from time to time, if left to my own devices everyone is happy, no one ever cheats and there are no fights. So it's good to have that shaken up every once in a while to keep it interesting.
Mad Poster
#4 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 5:21 AM
In my legacy game, my sims who are single and/or born-in-game usually don't look far for their future spouses - I have a habit of apartment-dwellers getting with their neighbours, and with born-in-game sims marrying the friend of their sexual preference as it usually ends up to be easier than adding townies into the mix. I make and break a lot of relationships for straight guys, however, and I don't know why - both my legacy's twins have had four girlfriends and one of them has gotten every one of them except for his first girlfriend pregnant. Eek.

Angie/DS | Baby Sterling - 24/2/2014
This account is mostly used by my sons to download CC now, if you see me active, it's probably just them!
#5 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 5:27 AM
Looks actually rank last in my game IMHO. My game is not meant to be a modeling contest. Usually its a matter of attraction/wants or just ease of access to a particular Sim. Sometimes, its just on a whim, such as with one young University student who I decided should woohoo the male members of the secret society as well as her roommate, and her boyfriend, and if memory serves, her professor... Sometimes its because a particular couple has grown up together and other possible romantic interests didn't work out.

My Sims aren't all the same. Often I have them marry townies/dormies to help keep the gene pool fresh.

I don't get why so many Simmers hate Marsha Bruenig. She actually grows up to be quite pretty if you allow her to.
Field Researcher
#6 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 10:09 AM
Usually my Sims get to decide who they wanna date and marry. However, I do "regulate", since I don't want the worst Townie genetics into the gene pool. With regards to gender preferences, most turn out straight, I think the gay/straight ratio in my 'hoods are much like in real life. Usually they get to experiment a little in Uni if they like to My dorms are a drama heaven xD

Hi, I'm Camilla, and I'm a Sims 2 addict!
Forum Resident
#7 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 10:16 AM
Depending on what 'hood I'm playing, I either have my sims scope out the locals at a community lot or use TJ's find a mate crystal ball. Either way, I look for the same things:

- High (but not too high) chemistry. 2 bolts is about right for me: I find that 3 bolt sims are often the same personality and aspiration, and 1 bolt sims can often lose some attraction and go neutral.
- Genetic variation. If I have a sim who has black hair but I know has a recessive red hair gene, I'll try and pair them up with someone with red or blond hair. Eyes are a little trickier because I have so many I often forget how dominant they are on the scale.
- Townies/playables doesn't really matter, although I am trying to learn towards playables marrying playables to keep population/house numbers down.
- Sexuality is randomised. Every so often I randomise the sexuality of everyone who doesn't have one, and it's only when a sim becomes a teen and I check for sims they're attracted to that I see if they're gay/bi/straight.

Sometimes I have let relationships progress that I wouldn't normally allow. The most recent example was Luke Creekmore: a Family sim, he brought home Rachel Holt (a Fortune sim) from school one day, and out of curiosity I checked their chemistry levels. One bolt. Before I could stop them, ACR took over and gave them their first kiss and first woohoo, and after they'd finished woohooing Luke rolled the want to go steady with Rachel. I'd pretty much figured then that Luke had chosen Rachel as his 'one' despite potentially having better chemistry with other sims, so I let them go steady and now they're currently married with two children (although Luke does want six for his LTW).

Angelos Town Prosperity updated 11th June 2012. | Albion Falls BACC updated 25th April 2011.

Watch my Livesimming Channel -- 17th June 6PM GMT (2PM EST) Cresdale: Rules and Regulations (Part 2)
Field Researcher
#8 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 10:55 AM
I don't make the decision at all. When my sim kids age up to teen, their gender preference is set to "bi" with the ACR adjuster, and they take it from there themselves. They choose their own mate/s 100 %, I have nothing to do with it. If they roll the want, they go steady. Then, as YA/adult/elder, if they roll the want to get engaged/married, they do.

Funny though, in my current hood, it seems that by letting everybody choose their mates regardless of gender, I end up with mostly gay couples. Fortunately for them (and me, I like genetics), in my game also same-sex couples can have biological children.

One of my sim kids aged to teen a couple of days ago, and he's already had woohoo with 11 boys and girls... I guess there's something special about him..! Whenever he visits a family, he always gets dragged to the nearest bed/hot tub/sofa, often several times in a row, when both the teens in the family in question and their other guests find him irresistible. He isn't even a Romance sim... but after his tenth woohoo partner, I just had to give him secondary Romance. I haven't seen him roll any "go steady" wants, and I'm guessing he won't be that interested in getting engaged or married in the future either!
Lab Assistant
#9 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 11:34 AM
I always try to 'fix' the marriage of all the sims I play as soon as I can. Even the pre-made ones. Sometimes I try to find a match for my sims even when they're children and make them get friendly with their intended spouse. So that they have 100/100 relationship when they reach teens.

Certainly aspiration and personality compatibility is very important. I wouldn't want a grouchy /active guy to marry a shy and extremely nice and friendly girl.Chemistry and lightning bolts are important too, but if there are two sims who I really want should be together, but they have negative chemistry with each other. I change their turn-on and offs and sometimes aspirations, so that they at least get two bolts of chemistry. Sometimes the only criteria is that the 2 sims whom I intend to bring together have families which are old friends. I visualize the parents would really like it if their kids got together and the family friendship will turn into a relation.

In real life, I believed (and still do) that God chooses a special someone for everybody and generally and eventually make them get together. I try to do the same as "Sim God"
#10 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 1:51 PM
If a child brings home a friend, I typically try to get them friendly so they could potentially have a relationship in the future (though most often this friend is a townie so I have to age them up with cheats!)
Before The Great Reinstall, I would teleport over a sim based on the teen's turn-ons and they would get together (it worked for a few very happy relationships). After, now that I have to play a total vanilla game with no teleporters, I typically send a teen off to a community lot and have them "scope room", then go with the first person they think is hot regardless of gender. It doesn't always work, but I think that's all the more realistic: the first person you think you're in love with may not be "the one".

I've got one or two things on MTS, but most of my stuff is on my main site here:
(Now recruiting budding creators.)
Lab Assistant
#11 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 4:28 PM
Strangely my method tends to be whomever the Sims first brings home. Children meet their bestest friend the first time they bring another child with them on the bus, and as teens that first teen that comes home with them on the bus if they have enough of an attraction becomes their high school sweetheart. This often times leads to drama, particularly if that Sim who came home with them is equally attracted to the playable Sim, but already has a steady girl/boyfriend.

When they go to College they tend to hook up with whomever they are most attracted to, and if there is enough attraction there I usually get them engaged in College, and carry that over to adulthood. With adults who are unattached usually I wait till they bring home someone from work, that they are attracted to, which sometimes creates drama specially if they fall in love with a married man or woman.

This method keeps the drama and randomness quite high in my neighborhoods.
Lab Assistant
#12 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 4:40 PM
It depends. I had arranged marriages (and even polygamy) in my game for story reasons. Usually I just take them to community lots and let them roam free and whoever catches their interest is dated. That says nothing about marriage perspectives though as sometimes they date someone forever without ever rolling a want to go further with the relationship. I've even had that happen to triple bolt family sims...*scratcheshead* I have to start over I'm going to pick the spouses for generation one and then see how the story proceeds. In my current mood I don't think I'll have to arrange marriages for political reasons so it's the sims themselves who get to choose. The townies are the most beautiful sims due to face replacements so I'm not afraid of anyone screwing up the gene pool.


~ You can't prove courage without fright ~
Mad Poster
#13 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 7:13 PM
My matchmaking style is still evolving, and I don't think I'll ever settle down to hard and fast rules because it's so seldom that one set of rules works best for everyone. One thing that is consistent is, that the sims get a lot of input. I may have a general idea of how I think things should go, but ever since Ernest Munny as good as looked me in the eye and said "Sage Ann or nobody" when they only had one bolt I've made my plans prepared to cave in if they get different ideas into their heads. I will mess with turn-ons and (for college students who make their preferences plain prior to junior year) aspirations to improve chemistry, but that's all I'll do in those cases. If it ain't broke, you won't see me trying to fix it, and any match that makes story sense is good enough for me.

I do steer them a bit, but I try not to get too attached to one idea of how things should be. I have a table where I keep track of the star signs, OTHs, turn-ons, and aspirations of eligible oncoming sims. If, say, an Aries and a Taurus are born within three rotations of each other I'll note that as a match with a question mark. By the time they hit teen I'll probably give them compatible aspirations unless there's some reason not to - some sims declare themselves as one aspiration or another from toddlerhood, and if, say, an obvious Popularity sim is a perfect starsign match with an obvious Family sim, I have to suck it up. If they get compatible aspirations, I also give them compatible turn-ons, so blond tinkering Aquarius Edward Beare has been given a Fortune aspiration and turn-ons for brown hair and mechanical points while brunette tinkering Capricorn Petra Ottomas has a Pleasure aspiration and turn-ons for blond hair and mechanical points - but when they met, no sparks flew and though I keep throwing them together they aren't particularly drawn toward interacting autonomously. They might be one of those couples that grows together over time, or - they might not.

This creates a certain amount of pleasant suspense and is the sort of thing that keeps one coming back to the game. Some of my favorite sims have been agonizingly slow about committing themselves - especially various Hawkins teens, who tend to have townies and playables both hurling themselves at their heads and respond with judicious restraint or downright coolness until The Right One comes along - but hey, it's a big decision, and they don't want to hurt anybody.

I do tend to pair people off rather than leaving them single simply because I don't find single-adult families interesting long-term. The longest one I've played like that is shy but driven Romance sim Leslie Gay, who has woohooed her way through dormies, townies, and playables with cheerful abandon, thrown lots of parties, made lots of enemies, and demonstrated a consistent fear of commitment. She's reached her goal of becoming a Professional Party Guest, has her own house, and refuses to make friends with her brother's family, so I'm having trouble keeping her involved with the rest of the cast even with the partying. This calls for violent action on my part as she approaches elderhood. She's being stalked by a really cute Family townie with whom she never should have toyed, and my plan at the moment is to make her sick (which should have been a snap, with a cold running through the playables, but perversely the game has so far insisted on infecting everyone at every party except Leslie), and have Rishelle move in to cure her - and never leave. That should enliven her elder years for me. So far she's had very little to trouble or vex her (she's always serenely ignored people who were mad at her) but I can change that.

Character trumps player prejudice and an interesting game trumps most other considerations. The more the sims write themselves the better off I am.

Ugly is in the heart of the beholder.
(My simblr isSim Media Res . Widespot,Widespot RFD: The Subhood, and Land Grant University are all available here. In case you care.)
Mad Poster
21st Mar 2012 at 7:25 PM
This message has been deleted by Peni Griffin.
#14 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 7:52 PM
I always try to marry my sims with other playables instead of townies. That way I can keep the population lower. Regarding who that dates who I normally go with chemistry and who ACR says the sim in question has the hots for. I also prefer to have the two sims pretty being close in age, so they have at least some time together when they both are teens or young adults. The sims who end up married have usually known each other since childhood, and have also often been best friends since then, which I find cute. When a sim is ready to become a teen I usually already have plans for who the sims might be interested in, and I chose their turn on´s and turn off´s based on that. But sometimes my sims have other plans and totally prefer someone else, and I like that. When it comes to gender preference I set all my sims as biesexual to begin with, just to give them a chance to discover which gender they really prefer. Unfortunately I mostly end up being the one who decides their sexuality by forcing them to do romantic interactions with one sim I find suitable, and since I set their biesexuality on a low level (if you have ACR you know how you can set it low, medium or high), that´s enough to make them either straight or gay. I am still a control freak, so even if I try to let things be random, things usually end up being not so random.
Test Subject
#15 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 8:16 PM
I'm pro-hetero, so my Sims never experience same gender-to-same gender romantic contact. I usually create the ideal spouse for my Sim, including Chemistry, Aspiration, and appearance.

I know it all sounds a bit controlling, but hey, that's me.

~ Traveler
Lab Assistant
#16 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 8:21 PM
I mostly let ACR do it for me. I did try to have a rule where one-bolt couples wouldn't end up together, but some one-bolters are so loyal to each other I decided to scrap that rule pretty quickly.

I have some arranged marriages, if it suits the family. The Capp family are big on arranged marriages - they don't want just anyone mixing genes with their children. Ariel Capp was set up with Fricorith Tricou, and luckily they were very attracted to each other and didn't need telling twice to get along! Desdemona is destined for Hector Beaker, but poor Hec is lusting for Maeve Terrano, a fact he has to hide from his alien-phobe family. Hector and Desdemona are BFFs though and both realise they just have to get on with it, so will move in together once they've graduated and will pop out some sprogs to please their families, and Hector will probably see Maeve on the (not so secret) side.

ACR decides sexuality, and I have the mod where same-sex couples can have children, so that's not a problem in my 'hood.
#17 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 8:42 PM
I find a partner through Find-A-Mate crystall ball. Three bolts, and if there are a few of those, I check whose chemistry is higher with Cyjon's pizza box. So it's destiny. It creates interesting scenarios, because some sims pick most unlikely significant others.
Forum Resident
#18 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 8:58 PM
I don't have set rules for choosing mates. Sometimes I go by chemistry, personality and star sign. Other times I let the sim decide who they want to flirt with. Sometimes I go by who ever rolls up first in their want panel with a romantic interaction. Unless of course Sim B is happily dating/married to another sim. I try not to break up couples that I really want to be together.

Hell sometimes I even go by their names. Buck Grunt brought home a girl from school....named Milk. I kid you not her name is Milk. They went out on a date and are really great together. And you better believe I enjoyed seeing wants that said "Kiss Milk" "Flirt with Milk" lol!

I've also used the Find-A-Mate crystal ball as well. Some of my sims are just so busy with their careers or businesses that they don't have time to go to community lots. The crystal ball is also nice when I just came seem to get lucky with any good looking townie walk-bys.

Tired of your workers' faces changing after you set a uniform? See this thread for more details and a potential fix.
Check out my journal.
I now have a Simblr(in the making) please follow!
#19 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 9:40 PM
A private rule in my game is that three-bolt lovers must have each other, though the heavens should fall.

Another consideration is the education of children. Only a sim with at least six personality points can encourage a child in that discipline. Let us say that the Gavigans have only four or five points for Neatness, and Isaiah needs six if he is to stop spraying cornflakes over the breakfast table. Then the parents must divorce (they don't care much for each other, anyway) and the one who gets custody must find a Neat partner to marry, so that Isaiah can be encouraged. It's tough, but that is my method.
Mad Poster
#20 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 9:55 PM
That seems like a high price to pay for a little encouragement that may never take hold anyway! (And my Mary and Nathan are thoroughly into eachother...)

What do you do when you have sims with multiple three-bolt matches? My Merlin and Goz Hawkins triple-bolt with half the female population of Drama Acres, including most of their in-laws; it's triple-bolts or none for them!

Sorry about the double post earlier. My hard drive died, so I'm having to use my laptop for the internet connection, and it's very cranky about it. I can't for the life of me get either of them deleted, either. If no moderator gets there first I promise to take it out as soon as I get a decent connection again. Now to try not to do it again.

Ugly is in the heart of the beholder.
(My simblr isSim Media Res . Widespot,Widespot RFD: The Subhood, and Land Grant University are all available here. In case you care.)
Lab Assistant
#21 Old 21st Mar 2012 at 10:26 PM
I kind of leave it up to chance. I have ACR installed, so often the Sims with two or three-bolt attraction scores tend to gravitate towards each other. Sometimes I know exactly who I want certain Sims to date or marry but otherwise it's fun to see the results from ACR.
Meet Me In My Next Life
#22 Old 22nd Mar 2012 at 2:41 AM
I kind have an idea of who I want together, and to be honest most of the Sims that I want to be with someone, I create them myself in Body Shop ( not trying to brag but I am pretty good making Sims. ) Once I decide who I want together if the male or female Sims is already in the game waiting for someone, I will move them in and let the relationship build from there.

Here a "Good Tip" I always move the male Sims in first, my reason is so that the neighborhood screen when you first enter the lot will have the male last name, if you later decide to let him get married. The neighborhood screen before you enter the lot will have the correct married name.

But if you move the Female Sims in first even after she get married the neighborhood screen will always carry her last name instead of her Sims husband last name, that she had later married. So in my game no matter what I do the male get move in the lot first.

"Nothing in life is a Surprise it just happen to come your way at the time".
#23 Old 22nd Mar 2012 at 3:01 AM
I start thinking of who will date who when they are children. I'm paying attention to who their friends are. When they become teens, they don't stay that way long because they get sent to college soon after, I let them sneak out, go out, or go on an actual date with their friends. Then eventually, and especially lately, I create a list of all the teens who are going to college and sorta pre-plan who I'm going to gear them towards. I also add adult sims who are single to that list, because it's acceptable for the college students to date sims from the neighborhood. At times when the list of females exceeds males or vice versa, someone may end up in a homosexual relationship. But all the pre-planning doesn't mean it's going to happen just like that. Their personalities and aspirations can alter my plans all the time.
Test Subject
#24 Old 22nd Mar 2012 at 3:58 AM
I usually leave individual relationships almost entirely up to ACR, wants panels, and the sims themselves. There are only a few exceptions: I'll use generic wants to encourage relationships for sims who haven't shown much initiative on their own; I always follow through on specific flirt and date wants, but reserve the right to ignore or outright veto others; I'll sometimes move a couple in together if they've been seeing each other for a while but don't roll up actual wants for commitment. I don't usually marry sims without at least one rolling up a want, though--if a couple gets engaged but never wants marriage, I figure they've settled things between themselves but don't care about formalizing it. I also almost never arrange matches based on the likely offspring (although I'll be pleased if it works out well). If I get lazy, sloppy, strange-looking kids, I get lazy, sloppy, strange-looking kids. C'est la vie. A uniform population would get boring, anyway.

I have to admit I've never played any in-universe arranged marriages, however much I'm plotting out-of-universe. I don't know how I'd work it into my main neighborhood's culture. It could be fun, actually.

For sexual orientation, I usually leave townies and NPCs up to ACR's randomizer; playables, I prefer to roll for myself. Mayfair, my main neighborhood, has had an unusually high proportion of gay and bi sims so far, because my population's been limited and I wanted my gay sims to have a fair chance at a decent match more than I wanted demographic realism, but I'm finally just about ready to add a Downtown and the attendant zillions of disposable downtownies to spouse-hunt among, so the odds are going down a bit this generation. The previous outcomes can be explained away as an artifact of a small sample size
The Great AntiJen
retired moderator
#25 Old 22nd Mar 2012 at 12:51 PM
Ah - the usual impetus for matching up in Little Carping is desperation.

I no longer come over to MTS very often but if you would like to ask me a question then you can find me on tumblr or my own site tflc. TFLC has an archive of all my CC downloads.
I'm here on tumblr and my site, tflc
Page 1 of 3
Back to top