Buzz sat down in a comfy armchair, with some hard liquor at his side. He’d been losing hair, and stressing out more than he ever had. You see, he wasn’t used to the company of women – let alone the company of so many. They all wanted to be around him, all the time. He hadn’t gotten a break, let alone some peace and quiet. If they weren’t harassing him, they were harassing the others. It was the bleak side to looking for love in such a toxic reality-show environment, but he knew once the numbers dwindled, things would become more serious and he could finally find the woman of his dreams. It was group-date day, and he chose which girls he wanted to bring along.

Coincidentally, these were the women who hadn’t bugged him in a while.
Buzz had decided it was time for these women to join his environment, well sort of. He knew he needed a woman who could cope with the daily life of a military- and hardcore outdoor family style, what better way than to find a woman who enjoyed being outdoors?
Buzz placed a letter on the coffee table of the main living room, the girls all knew the date started tomorrow at 5:30am, because they were told previously, as a group. They just didn’t know what they were doing until the date.
Unfortunately, Dina was the first one to find the invitation, she was excited until she read the letter twice and realized Buzz had simply forgotten her name. She was somewhat excited though, seeing as Nina wasn’t on the letter either. She was one step ahead of her twin sister and she liked it. But, what should she do? Should she alert all of the other girls that they’d be going outside tomorrow, bright and early? Nah, she’d just keep the letter for herself, a little memento of the time she screwed over a great lot of the girls that were giving her the cold shoulder.

Dina didn’t know where to keep it though, if anyone saw her with it, or even worse, saw her hiding it; she’d be in deep trouble. She did what any fame-clamoring girl on a reality TV show would do; she placed it in the soil of a nearby potted plant. Then she ran off to go scrub her hands off, because dirt was unnatural and icky.

Each and every one of the girls on the list went unaware of the fact they were on it, and all of the girls figured the invites were sent out privately, so for the rest of the day they all sulked around the house, because Buzz didn’t invite them. They never suspected a thing, and it seemed like Dina got away with it. Well, at least for now.
At 4:00am a trumpet blared through the speakers of the house, and then it was announced that all girls going on today’s date must be at the front of the house by 5:30am, with no exceptions. Everyone was mad, they woke up early and they weren’t going on a date. Still, the women lurked around the house, checking to see who seemed nervous, trying to figure out which of them had received the grand invitation. 5:30am reached the clock, and all of the girls were outside at the front. These bachelorettes wished oh-so-much to discover who was chosen, because even when they gossiped in the house, none of them admitted to being invited. Buzz pulled up in a military jeep, getting out walking up to the masses.

Everyone was in their jammies, ill-prepared for hiking. None of them had shoes on either. He stared curiously at all of the women, some with curlers and some with half a face of makeup on. All except for the pristine Dina, but she was always camera ready. He looked around, and then he folded his arms, rocking back and forth with his heels. He didn’t know what he was looking at, and then all of the girls began to murmur: What if there was no date? Buzz began looking at all of the girls he had invited and he noticed that none of them really acknowledged they were supposed to be ready. Something was up in the Bachelor Mansion, but he didn’t know exactly where to point his finger. Buzz was a General though, and so he assumed his role as one. He suddenly stood a lot straighter than normal, and began inspecting the women more as POW, than as potential wives. But this was going to take a lot more time than early morning on the porch, five minutes away from their exclusive reservation at a premiere hiking spot. So the date was canceled, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. After the girls got a couple more hours of sleep, that is.