CHAPTER 10: "A Few Giant Steps"



The fight raged on for what seemed like an entire extra hour, with nearly everyone getting extremely tired. Volkonir gave Tommy his shield back, and he joined the Emo Rangers in hunting down Clownscavator. Volkonir and the other Rangers didn't think it would ever end, but the two Alphas helped them develop a means to track down every last Slasionnutty and defeat the last of them. With weapons drawn, they were ready to finally end the matter.

Jason: "It's over, Slaisionnach!"

Volkonir: "You know this can only end one way. You die. You rot in Hell. Everything else goes back to the way it was. Gwirmalesh can always try something else to take over the multiverse, if he's so bent on it. If you keep fighting us, even if you win; you have no future. Not here, not anywhere else!"

Slaisionnach: "Knight know nothing!!!"

Volkonir: "I know that you and the Percolation Wave are destabilized. And increasingly, so is everything else because of you. Either the instability of the fabrics will kill you, or we will. Pick your poison. You can surrender, and let me strike you down quickly. And save the lives of countless trillions! The heroic thing to do! Or, you can keep fighting, only to be killed anyway when this entire universe's fabric tears itself apart just to rid itself of you! It's like the good preacher Grinodos said: it's Boulders and Windows!* Even if you win, you lose! Knight defeats pawn! Checkmate!!!"

Slaisionnach: "You don't understand, Knight! I don't vahnt to be hero! I don't vahnt to die noble! I vahnt...TO KILL THINGS!!! ALL THE THINGS!!!"

Kim: "Really? Where's your blonde hair, pink shirt, and broom?"**

Slaisionnach: "That does it!!! Pink ho first to die!!!"

Kim (charging recklessly): "Leeerrooooooooyyyyy!!!! Possssuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmm!!!"

Amazingly, her trick distracted Slaisionnach long enough for Trini to toss a dagger at his abdomen, which was only a minor setback.

The others quickly advanced the charge, working in smaller teams to take strikes. One of those strikes had to finally get the job done!

Notes:
* "Boulders and Windows" is a reference to Matthew 21:44, and was going to be the title of a book back in 2003, for a series that was eventually canceled.
** A reference to the "All the Things" meme.



Rita (from moon): "Oh, hockeystick NOOOOO!!!!! You will pay for this, MODM!!! If I have to cross a billion oceans of space-time, I will find you and make you pay for this! Grow, Slasionnach, GROOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!"

The wand did its magic, and Slaisionnach quickly grew giant-sized. He was loving every second of his massive self, even if it failed to heal all his wounds.

Slaisionnach: "Now, I tear off limbs!!!"†

† Note: A reference to Musaran's line in Ciem.



Jason: "Moment of truth, everyone!"

It took the Rangers a lot less time than before to form the Megazord, which terrified town residents noticed was a tiny bit larger than the Megazord they were accustomed to.

Zack: "He moves awful fast!"

Trini: "No kiddin'!"

Kim: "Price of tea in China no like you, mangy vodka!!!"

Billy: "Too fast! Too fast!!!"

Jason: "Hold it together, guys!"

Volkonir: "Hey, Tommy! I think it's time for some Golden Lion Dragonzord Power! What you say?"

Slaisionnach: "Tin cans, die!!!"

Tommy: "I'm with you, Vinny!"



It took very little time to summon the Dragonzord, which quickly transformed while Tommy and Vinny both tried to squeeze into the same cockpit.

Tommy: "I'm not used to having a copilot! It's a bit crowded in here."

Vinny: "Whatever. Let's just stop that thing!"

The two robots did what they could, but Slasionnach still proved difficult to take down.

Jason: "Ross, a little help?"

Ross: "You heard him, guys! Time to kick some giant monster ass!!!"

Captain Emohead: "Well done! That was gonna be my line!"

Emo 5: "Better hurry!"



Emo Interface: "Mega Emo Fight Bot, activated!!!"

John: "Now for our first order of business, right?"

Ross: "Bloody yes!"



Clownscavator: "Wait, what? They forgot to grow me too? Oh nooooooooooooo!!!"

SPLAT! Just like that, Clownscavator was a smudge on the Mega Emo Fight Bot's right foot.

However, the extra robot made little difference when taking on Slaisionnach, whose attack moves just kept coming!

Fai: "MODM! Did you forget my FashionxCore Fight Bot?"

MODM: "Oh, bummer!!! And I'm running out of ability to safely transport without...er...glitching!"

Billy: "I thought you said it all depends!"

MODM: "That was a diaper joke!"

Billy: "What???"

The fight raged on for what seemed like an extra half hour, with neither side in the conflict able to gain any ground. Even with three-against-one odds, Slasionnach just wouldn't die!

Captain Emohead: "MODM! The Rangers are getting murdered! Get a clue, summon a non-morphing hero or two!"

MODM: "Oh....I'll...try! I'm gonna regret this!"



Slaisionnach: "I rip off head of Emo Tin Ca-!"

Before he could finish the sentence, he suddenly found the ground beneath him inexplicably slippery and fell over - HARD!!!

MODM: "I'd like you all to meet Slip-Sadie, of the Phaemer Village Peacekeepers! She's-"

Slip-Sadie: "Let's skip the intro for now, MODM! Some other time, maybe?"

MODM: "Very well, let's get your friends here!"



A spaceship suddenly swooped in from above the scene, pulling down a rope for Sadie to grab and climb aboard. Out of its loudspeakers on the side, "Big Me" by the Foo Fighters began playing loudly.

Keet Kabo: "Let's light him up!"

Time Capsule: "Bodacious!!!"

Socratic: "Might want to keep out of his reach."

Jackal Semicolon: "Noted. Will do."

Bolte Chipotle: "Get me close! I will spice up his mouth!!!"

Sadie: "Not advised, Bart, trust me! This one will explode if your chili powder burns him!"

Chipotle: "What?"

MODM: "Local physics. Sorry, chap!"



With the PhVP pulling various stunts from above, and three robots attacking him from all around, Slaisionnach only continued to hang on for reasons of sheer stubbornness. But he knew his end was near. It was only a matter of time!

MODM: "Oh no! Oh no! Shoot!!!"

Time Capsule: "What's eatin', MODM?"

MODM: "Guys! Remember what I said about what might happen if I over-exert?"

Vicken: "Your suit will turn green?"

MODM: "Worse!"



Before him stood two girls that he was certain would be completely useless in the battle: Smug Wendy and Stephanie Meanswell!!!

Wendy: "This place could use some square burgers! Say...you're kinda cute!"

MODM (nervous): "Uhm...I...really prefer....Grillitan Diner?"

Wendy: "I can cure you of that misguided thought, you handsome little not-Wonka!"

MODM: "Oh boy!"

Stephanie: "Hey! This isn't Lazy Town! Where am I? Have I been kidnapped? Sporticus, help! Save me!"

Stef: "Oh, bugger off! There's only room for one Stephanie in this scenario!"

MODM: "She can't! Not until the monster's dead!"

Tommy: "I have an idea! Let's combine the Dragonzord with that other Megazord!"

Jason: "Will that even work?"

Vinny: "Only one way to find out!"



They tried, and inexplicably made the combination happen! The new Zord even combined the twin swords from the Pterodactyl into a giant version of Selshon!

Keet: "Let's cream him!!!"

The PhVP put their ship's blasters on full speed, while the new Zord teamed up with Mega Emo Fight Bot to deliver as many crushing blows as possible. Slaisionnach finally fell back down, swearing his final warning:

Slaisionnach: "Gwirmalesh will kill everything for me, stupid Knight!!!"

Volkonir: "Not as long as the Knights of Cortascius return to stop him!"

The PhVP's ship changed songs to "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys, as the various machines, Knights, Peacekeepers, and Rangers delivered one after another blow. They finally stepped or flew back, as the abomination finally fell over for the last time and met his demise.

The massive blast almost looked like it was going to go nuclear, leading to a sudden bout of fear from all the heroes! What had they done???