So currently, I have two households in which married sims are having affairs. One sim (Morgan) just kissed a sim (Alex) once on a community lot and considered it an affair. The problem is that Alex is married, but her spouse is having an affair himself with a coworker. That was simply because the co-worker flirted with Alex's husband (who admittedly didn't say no). Now, every time Trevor arrives home with the co-worker in tow as a friend they always kiss goodbye. I don't even think this is a memory for Trevor as an affair. It just happened.

(I have ACR installed and while I love it, it's messing with my need for monogamy in sim marriages - not that they didn't have wandering eyes in the first place. )

All of this happened by accident (read: ACR), but now what do I do?

When my last sim household had an affair, I kept the family together because my farmer got pregnant. However, I don't know if I should let them have the affairs and not get caught or have the affairs and get busted.

I sort of want to break up one marriage (my sims are way too happy) and maybe save the other. I don't know.

Does anyone have rules about cheating in their gameplay? Like if it's three attraction bolts, you allow the affair?

I just need a bit of direction.

This probably isn't going to be very helpful to you, but I basically let my sims do whatever they want to do. They autonomously have an affair (often, but not always, due to ACR) - I let them! They roll wants to have an affair with someone - I let them! (Provided the sim they want to have an affair with is willing, mind). They want to split up with their spouse - I let them! They want to make things work with their spouse - I let them! They want to kind of patch things up at home but continue the affair - I let them! Of course, their spouse may have different ideas - if the spouse who is being cheated on wants to end their marriage - I let them!

I play according to my sims' wants and fears, so I go by what they want/fear rather than by what I want. If my favourite couple ends up cheating on each other and wanting a divorce, they get one, even if I would've liked them to stay together. On the other hand, if the wife of a sim who I can't stand rolls the want to re-befriend and fall back in love with him even though he's had an affair I try to make it happen for her, even if I think she's crazy for staying with him. I enjoy playing this way, but it's not for everyone! :-)

That's the funny thing. None of them roll ANY wants about their love, except for their spouse. Stupid sims aren't making it easy for me.

I let my romance & pleasure sims cheat, especially if it's to fulfill their LTW or a want they roll. I don't have ACR so it's usually my doing when it does happen. Family sims never cheat, unless it's at my direction in order to break up an EAxis premade couple with horrible chemistry (Ottomi, Travellers, Picasos, etc.).

I also like to punish my cheating sims every once in a while. My favorite was when I had a romance sim fulfill his 20 loves LTW. To celebrate he threw a party and invited all his loves. I relinquished my micro-management control at that point and after he autonomously flirted with one of his loves the party turned into a full-on slap fest of epic proportions. It was glorious.

ACR does that. I worked out some special calculations to set ACR stuff like the short-term/long-term relationship points required for sims to woohoo individually for each sim, so that I felt like it made more sense when a sim randomly woohoo'd with someone. The main thing that makes me decide what to do about affairs is when one or both sims start rolling wants/fears related to each other and/or the sim(s) involved in the affair. Sometimes that doesn't happen until the cheating sim is caught, sometimes the cheater rolls lots of wants about their mistress/"male mistress", sometimes the cheater only rolls romantic wants for their spouse and not the other sim, or they only want to interact in a friendly way with their spouse but want to flirt/kiss/woohoo etc with the sim they're having an affair with. Of course it's also possible to interpret wants yourself - for example, I once had a sim who was married to an older adult sim and having an affair with a much younger sim. He rolled a "have a baby" want which, as his wife was too old to have any more children, I interpreted as a want to have a baby with his mistress. According to the game mechanics his wife could still have become pregnant, but I make my female sims "go through the menopause" a while before they become elders, so she couldn't in my game and I interpreted his wants accordingly.

It's difficult if nobody is rolling many wants about anything related to the affair. I'd probably just let it continue, until something tips the balance and it becomes clearer what the sims want to do about it all :-)

I let my Sims cheat if that seems in character for them, and make them be faithful if my reading of their character makes me think that is what they would do. If a Sim is caught cheating, then I think about the relationship they have before deciding what to do. Some Sims strike me as the sort who would try to patch up the relationship, while others would split up - either because one party was offended or the other was mortified. Divorce is quite rare, and tends only to happen if one of the parties clearly wants to marry a specific other Sim.

There have been a few slap-fests in the past. The most notable was at a family with a tradition of keeping many loves each at the same time. Whoever wrote up the guest list was rather careless, because most of the guests were romantically entangled with multiple members of the household as well as each other. It took hours for the fighting to end...

Today, there was a brilliant example of useful cheating. There was a huge party at the asylum, and one of the inmates burnt some sausages on the grill. However, only inmates participated in the "fire panic dance" and the host was able to quickly put out the fire. None of the guests noticed. Why? Because Boeb Cheo picked that moment to kiss Cynthia Gwyn on the front lawn in front of 11 spectators. This mortally offended Vd'Jyn Burb because he had a crush on Cynthia as well. The ensuing shove-fest neatly distracted the onlookers from the fire in the reception room (that was visible from the fairly large windows facing the front lawn! The party was rated as a "Good Time" despite the fire-based hiccup. I am yet to find out whether Cynthia approves of the fight over her affections.

Well, if they aren't rolling any wants for the affair partner, then clearly they regret it/were just being polite to the dork from work/had too much to drink and don't even remember it happened.

I'd just forget about it until someone wants something. You might get a clue from their thought and dream bubbles about what to do: Alex spends hours studying cooking while thinking "Kiss--Morgan" over and over, maybe that's a clue.

(The whole flirt thing accept=affair is weird to me. Some guy says "Hey, you look nice" I say "Thanks" and keep going, how's that an affair, EA?)

They probably set the bar low to accommodate those out there with a low bar for cheating. It's no secret that different people have different ideas of what is cheating. I had a friend that considered it cheating to eat at mcdonalds alone with a person of the opposite gender, which I thought was rather ridiculous (might be because majority of my friends are male). What I find annoying is that in an unmodded game, even if the Sim refuses, they are considered to be cheating and get slapped.

Depending on which ACR version you're using, there is an option to disable cheating in the whole hood.I have ACR 2.0 and have cheating disabled for the whole hood. My married Sims only use ACR on their spouses, and my non-married Sims use ACR on whoever they're attracted to, and I'm fine with that.

If you can't take the heat, disable the ACR! Don't use mods you're not comfortable with.

I don't have ACR, and though spontaneous flirting does happen in my game does happen, it's usually either between unattached people who aren't waiting around for me to help them fall in love - which is great - or between people who have previously-established relationships, about which I can't complain. Affairs happen either when the characters take the bit in their teeth, or when they make story and character sense to me; so it follows that when they happen, I'm good with playing the consequences.

The exception, of course, is the cow mascot, and I've learned to roll with that. After all, if cow mascots wouldn't press their attentions on unwilling sims I wouldn't know that it's possible for sims to react appropriately - twice I've had couples targeted by cow mascots continue without a blip in their relationship (but plenty of fury toward the mascot). And I've even come to recognize cow mascot flirts as a seal of authenticity. They only go after the most compatible couples; and cow mascot fury has ultimately cemented more than one relationship.

My neighbourhood is full of affairs XD I mean ... Every family should have its own black sheep, but I think I can count on the fingers of one hand the actual number of husbands that are faithful to their wives (or fiancees). Not that there aren't women who have affairs too, but ... for them it's just a little bit more complicated, because society's more punitive when it comes to wives who cheat on their husbands (it's 1650 in my neighbourhood, by the way XD ). Almost every noble man from the realm seduced a couple of his wife's young maids and most of them have at least a child born out of wedlock.
Even the King is allowed to have a maîtresse-en-titre (of course he's allowed to do that! he gave that law >.> ) and no one care's about what his wife has to say about that.
And ... no, I don't have ACR. And most of the time, whe it comes to letting my sims have affairs, I don't even look at those attraction bolts ^^" I'm sort of "Look! She's kind of cute! I bet they would make pretty babies!". And I turn off the jealousy on almost every lot ^^" Why let the wives get jealous if they can't do anything about it ^^" I pretend they suffer in silence.

I'm very comfortable with ACR which I downloaded because I was sick of perusing the neighborhood for potential spouses for every sim. I know that I can turn the jealousy on and off just as I can make the entire neighborhood monogamous. I leave ACR installed because it makes my game play better. It makes my sims' romantic lives more interesting.

Hence, why I am contemplating what I should do about the cheating. (Though I'm seriously leaning toward waiting for my sims and their rolled wants.) Because we all have to admit that the slapping makes life worth living.

I've never really liked what the game considers "affairs."
Flirting is one thing -- even suggesting or sweet talking, but I feel like affairs should only be considered after things get physical. Or after they develop crushes or something. I've never liked flirt = cheat.

Cheating in my hood is pretty much based on the couple and their relationship prior to the cheat. I've noticed that sims who are drastically happy with their spouse, even with ACR and cheating enabled, don't do it. They use their ACR privileges on their spouse and happily try for unplanned babies(well unplanned for me, more than once a discussion at the table has later led to acr woohoo/try for baby. Coincidence? I hope not.) I've had sims with all sorts chemistry prove this theory, so I seriously do think it depends on the couple itself. Sims that are unhappy with their spouse are more likely to have wandering eyes or be on the lookout for someone with which they have better chemistry, and then they prove themselves faithless by a variety of ways. If they merely flirt but do nothing else when left alone, I tend to think they're just facing inner demons and are /thinking/ about what might have been if they had someone else. Getting kissy-kissy or anything more serious, then they really didn't consider the consequences/care about their spouse. They usually guide me by their thoughts, wants and actions in the days following. If they roll continual wants for or keep thinking about the person they cheated with, I lean toward the fact that maybe the couple should split up. If they seem to regret it, I let them work out their relationship with their spouse.

As with most breakups IRL, I leave the decision feeling one-sided, usually coming as a bitter shock to the other spouse. Sometimes there's a person in the couple thinking everything was going smoothly, which can happen, and other times it doesn't, depends on their jealousy setting and what they did or didn't see their spouse do. It's pretty rare that both people are miserable to the point of infidelity in my game, which is what makes me ache for the poor clueless sap waiting at home for their "loving" spouse to return if they have been cheated on. It also makes me angry with the person cheating, but hey. They're characters and they're allowed to develop in their own way. lol.

Reading this thread I decided to throw in some cheating in my storyline. It's more fun when things aren't always perfect. And that's how I decide if Sims cheat or not. I feel like it, it happens. I don't, it doesn't.

A good number of my sims have the occasional affair, sometimes with past lovers, sometimes with a new lover. They rarely get caught unless I want them to be.

I pretty much just allow sims to do what they went when it comes to affairs unless it goes completely against the character, for instance, if I made a simself and a sim version of my husband, I would not allow my simself to cheat. When my sims do cheat and get caught, though, it is very rare that they break up. They usually just muddle along until ACR or time allows their relationship to get back into the green again.

However, in the hood I am currently playing, monogamous relationships are rare and marriages even more so. Most families are polyamorous, having a group of up to five lovers in the mix so there is no such thing as cheating to these sims. I think I may have it change in the new generation though...

For some reason, I have sims in my game who have memories of kissing other sims other than their spouse, specifically those that have three bolts with someone else other than their spouse. And they don't get a memory of having an affair or anything.

For example, Marsha Beckett, Romance, has a memory of kissing Ocean Pederson, also a Romance sim, who she triple-bolts with. There are two more that I can't remember and its all autonomous. I don't have ACR either.

Sometimes, I make use of such situations, like for example, Jihoon Hsu (who is a widower) is now in love with Carmen Patch (also a widow), who happens to be his alien daughter's mother in law. I noticed that there was something going on when he wanted to say good bye and he smooched her! I'm not sure if they triple bolt, but it doesn't matter, and they're not Romance sims! Both are knowledge! Carmen does get occasional fears of getting caught cheating, but I don't know why since her husband is long dead. Perhaps its due to the post mortem fix.

MMAA, with M&G installed I've noticed a much greater tendency for bolting sims to kiss each other hello and goodby, but this does not count as cheating or for the First Kiss video.

Hmmm... I guess EA should've just called M&G "SP" >> "Livin' Large EP", if M&G is the culprit. I have M&G installed. Though its a good way for sims to find love again or to stir up some drama. If only it was considered as actual cheating!

If you don't like Sims kissing as hello/bye, there's Cyjons mod that limits them to only do so with Sims that they have a crush or higher with, or my edited version that stops that behavior altogether.

I dont like annoymous affairs like one townie went to my sim and flirted with her she said no while her husband was there he was furious at both of them she not like she had an affair him purposly and now she a got caught cheating in her memory and the husband I caught my love in the arms of another memory I'm like she didnt do anything that stupid townie did. so now I have to repair thier relationship. Hum I had my play of affairs before I broke up the Pleasant family I played the affair with Kaylynn and Daniel, I broke up the Ottoman family Peter was just trying to be the next Don Lothario it sad but great. I broke the Beaker family from strangetown, and I broke up Lilith and Dirk and Angela and Dustin with other CAS sims. I broke the Greenman family from Riverblossom too. alot of CAS family as well.

Affairs of the heart is it "Love or Lust" ? I have four or more couples who are very faithful to each other in all my neighborhoods, they have true love. One of my most favorite Sims is Don Lothario ( who I let stay forever young ) Don's has had his hey days of being in the hay. I change him a long time ago from being a romance sims, I turn him into a Family Sims he is happy and married with twins that happen to came out being a boy and girl. I created a female Sims in body shop for him to be with. ( she beautiful ) Since Don spent his time wasting his oats on just about everyone in town with a dress on. I needed to give him a fresh start, and do it the right way fall in love, get married, have kids, be faithful to your wife and family.

Yes and yes I do have affairs in all my neighborhoods the "Mayor" is sometime the main target Sims female seem to like Sims men with power. I always have romance Sims in my game, they may not be my favorite aspirations, but they sure know how to keep the drama and the pot heat cooking in the neighborhoods. Popularity and Pleasure Sims is right there as well doing their thing. I must have drama ! What would the Sims world or the real world be without drama, I have one Romance Sims female who broke up with her X boyfriend who was also a romance Sims they live together would fight like cats and dogs.

So she move out on her own into a nice home, but she was such a bad girl she started having an affairs with her male, maid, the postman to the point that it was a game to her to get to 50 Sims to WooHoo, ( No way she's crazy. ) Anyway her life turn out to be with "Four Kids" by different male Sims one was with the downtown Sim Mr. Big, the Male Maid, and her x boyfriend, the last one was a Townie ( Maxis gave him a good job. ) all seem to be good fathers, and visit their child often. The children somewhat calm her down ( she never do anything around the kids ) And she is an excellent mother. Thanks to creator Monique Mod she do get some form of Child Support. But even without that she also have a very good job.

Now when she want to have fun I have a Club in my game for "Adult only" I use a mod to keep the unwanted out, if one of my faithful Sims happen by chance to stroll into the club, the mod I use can send them out like go home to your Sims wife or husband sorry this is not the place for you. As a player if you want your Sims faithful or having affairs, that ok as long as it is your style and you are happy.

I usually let my sims do whatever they want unless it's really out of character. It really bothers me actually when one of my married sims flirts with another sim haha I accept it, but man it rubs me the wrong way!

I tend to allow my romance sims to have affairs, depending on the wants they roll. I don't usually let the cheated spouse find out and don't break up the marriage.
Some affairs may be just isolated, some can last throughout the respective sims lives. Very rarely, kids result from it and they are subsequently raised by the mother and her unsuspecting hubby :P.

Although I control this stuff, sometimes my sims get caught before I can do anything about it.
I had this situation when a male sim, Arden, moved back into his parents' house along with his fiancée, Josephine. After his mother died of old age, Josephine started an affair with Arden's dad, Yan. One evening, Jo and Yan were so heated up about each other (they're both romance sims) that I let them woohoo while Arden was sleeping in the other room. I didn't imagine he'd wake up and rush in to spoil their fun. After some couples counselling and many-many apologies later, I managed to patch up all the relationships and have Arden and Jo get back to normal. That doesn't mean Jo and Yan stopped woohooing, only more discreetly...