“Okay,” Artemis said, pretending the argument hadn’t happened. “So, now, I’m going to drop my daughter off at school.” She pretended to drive a car, with Leah following closely, and she stopped in front of Eva. “Have a good day at school, honey!”

“I will. Bye, Mommy!” Leah replied, running over to Eva, who began miming writing on a chalkboard and teaching.

“And I’m not feeling too well,” Artemis continued. “So, I think I’ll go to the doctor.”

“And I’m going to go to work,” Nathan spoke up. They both pretended to drive cars, with Nathan stopping by a window and Artemis stopping near Sean. “And now, I’ll wait for my boss to come in and give me my work for the day.”

Eva sighed and said, “I guess that’s me.” She ran over to Nathan and pretended to hand him a stack of papers. “Fill these out and send them to… uh… the other guys,” she instructed him. “And then, take the rest of the day off.”

“Okay, boss!” Nathan replied cheerily.

Eva hurried back over to Leah and went back to pretending to teach. Artemis tapped Sean on the shoulder.

“Yeah?” Sean asked.

“Doctor, I’m not feeling well,” Artemis replied.

“I’ll have my nurse check your vital signs,” he told her. “Nurse!”

Eva rolled her eyes. “Me, again?” she asked. She looked over at Jane. “Can you help out here?”

“No, I’m a celebrity,” Jane replied, tossing her hair and chuckling. “I have to sign autographs!”

“For who?”

Jane looked around, and then ran over to the door and mimed writing an autograph. “For my adoring fan, uh… Dorian!” She ran over to a window and mimed signing another autograph. “And my other fan… uh… Wendy!”


“Fine, I’ll be the nurse,” Eva grumbled. “Don’t forget Lampy and Mr. Davenport.” She walked over to Artemis. “Say ‘ah.’”

Artemis opened her mouth wide. “Ahhhh…”

Eva peered into the girl’s mouth. “No cavities,” she remarked. “At least you take care of your teeth.” She felt Artemis’s forehead and pulse. “Everything seems normal,” she told Sean.

“Just as I suspected!” Sean declared. “It’s a case of ennui!”

“Ennui?” Artemis echoed. “Is it contagious?”

“Highly,” Sean replied, a twinkle in his eye. “We’ll have to keep you in here for a day or two for proper treatment.”

“What kind of treatment?” Artemis asked.

“Typical treatment for ennui… lots of movies and video games. We need to make sure you get the proper dosage, or the ennui will just be worsened.”

“Oh, that’s terrible!” Lisa spoke up. “I’ll be sure to make dinner for your family, since you won’t be able to. And then, I’ll visit you, because I’m the really nosy neighbor. And then, I’ll keep your husband company after your little girl is in bed.” She poked at Sean. “Can she die from ennui?”

“Not directly,” Sean responded. “But, some people have been known to do dangerous things to cure their ennui.”

“Like what?”

“Russian roulette, car racing, drugs…”

“I didn’t realize it was such a serious problem!” Artemis gasped.

“People seldom do.”


Leah pretended to open a door. “And I’m back home!” she announced. “I’m going to do my homework and wait for my daddy to come home.”

Nathan walked over and called out, “I’m home!” Artemis hugged him, and he asked, “What did you do in school today?”

“Not much,” Artemis replied. “The teacher kept walking away when she was supposed to teach me.”

“Hey!” Eva called out. “Maybe if some of the people in this room would do more than stand around, making stupid comments and acting like idiots, the teacher could have taught you something awesome!”

“Mommy might die of ennui!” Artemis added.

“Ennui? Never heard of it,” Nathan replied.

“It’s real bad. Daddy, if Mommy dies, will you get me a new mommy?”

“We’ll see.”

Lisa ran over and interrupted, “I’ll be your new mommy if your crummy old one dies.”

“Crummy?” Artemis yelled.

“I’ll let you stay up late and eat candy and cookies. And I’ll try to give you lots of sisters!” Lisa continued.


“But maybe I want to be an only child,” Leah replied. “I hear that having sisters is pretty irritating sometimes.”

“Hey!” Jane and Eva yelled.

“Fine, no sisters,” Lisa replied.

“I’m leaving the hospital early!” Artemis announced.

“But, what about the treatment?” Sean asked.

“I can’t let my neighbor marry my husband!”

“I’ll call the cops, then!” Sean replied. “COPS!”

Eva scowled and shook her head. “Forget it!” she responded. “I’m not doing it.” She poked Jane. “Go get her, Cop Lady.”

“But I still have more autographs to sign, and a hot celebrity guy to date and then break up with!” Jane whined.

“You can do it after arresting her.”

“Fine.”